


I hate you...or maybe not

by Andybitch241



Category: Ranya - Fandom, clexa - Fandom, lexa - Fandom, linctavia - Fandom
Genre: Bisexuality, Camping, CampingFluff, Coming Out, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Homosexuality, Love/HateFluff, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 05:31:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 43,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8520319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andybitch241/pseuds/Andybitch241
Summary: Clarke and her friends plan on spending their summer together at camp Arkadia. The idea is that Clarke and her two best friends, Raven and Octavia, team up and win the competition the camp is known for. They have to spend 2 months in camp and win games the camp leaders have organized. Clarke is excited until she finds out, that this girl, Lexa, will be there too.Lexa doesn't want to join her sister Anya and best-friend Lincoln in camp Arkadia, but since she doesn't have anything else planned for the summer and doesn't want to spend it alone, she joins them. She didn't expect to see a certain blonde there.It is a love Story in which Lexa and Clarke can't stand each other at the beginning, but after a while it is mostly fluff.





	1. First encounter

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys,  
> this is the first fanfiction I've ever wrote, so please go easy on me.  
> I'll try to update once a week, but with school and stuff it could derive a Little.  
> Hope you'll like it and have fun!

# First Encounter

  
It is a sunny monday morning. Lexa wakes up and feels already stressed out. There are only two more weeks left until summer vacation. Which means two more weeks of finals. Lexa is a good student. She usually even enjoys studying, but now she just wants to get over with finals so she can relax a little and not worry about her grades all the time.  


Lexa is a law student. She is almost done with her sophomore year at NYU. She lives together with her sister Anya who teaches art history at the same college Lexa goes to. They have been living together since Anya turned 18.  


Lexa gets up, still tired, and makes herself ready to start studying. After a while, her phone vibrates.

**Anya Woods:**  
Got lunch plans today?  


**Annoying Sis:**  
Don't have time. Need to study.  


**Anya Woods:**  
You need a break and some distraction.  
I'll pick you up at 12:30, we'll eat sth and  
you can go back to being a nerd.  


**Anya Woods:**  
And don't even try to fight me on it!  


**Annoying Sis:**  
Fine, but not too long, cause I really  
need to study!  


**Anya Woods:**  
Perfect. Ly  


Still not convinced that a break will be good, Lexa doesn't want to waste anymore time and goes back to studying.

* * *

Lexa is so concentrated, she doesn't even realize Anya is standing behind her until Any touches her shoulder. Lexa jumps up with a horrified look in her eyes and squeals. When she realizes that it's only Anya she takes a deep breath and gives Anya a death glare. “Don't you ever do that again. I almost had a heart attack. What are you even doing here?”  


“Oh my god... I wish I could have recorded this. You squealed!” Anya almost dies laughing. “The badass commander... squealing”  


“Yeah yeah, make fun of me. But really, what are you doing here?” Lexa asks annoyed.  


“I told you I'd pick you up at 12:30 and it is 12:30, so get you lazy ass up and let's go have lunch.” Anya clarifies still laughing and turns around already leaving the room. Lexa gets up mumbling something about needing to study and hating Anya but still follows her out of the room. 

* * *

Clarke is about to explode. She has been working on this assignment for three days now and still hasn't had one good idea. Clarke loves art. She has known that she wanted to study art since she was 4 years old and never once changed her mind. Her father is one of the most famous artists in the world and Clarke has always looked up to him.  


Clarke is just about to put her art stuff away when her phone rings.  


-Hey Clarke, where are you?  


-Hey O, still at the art studios, but I'm about to come to the apartment. What's up?  


-I have to tell you something, hurry up.  


-On my way.  


  
She ends the call and exits the studios. She hurries out and just wants to get home, so she doesn't really look where she's going. When she's almost at the apartment she collides with someone. Clarke's first instinct is to apologize. “I am so sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going. Are you ok?”  


The other girl just gets up abruptly and glares at Clarke with her bright green eyes. “Don't you have eyes? Couldn't you see that I was standing here?” the girl almost shouts at Clarke “There really are some stupid people in this world.”  


“Well I obviously didn't do it on purpose so you don't have to be so mean! I already apologized and I tried to be nice, but clearly that's not working. I really don't need this right now so bye.” Clarke rants, turns around and leaves.  


The green eyed girl watches as Clarke leaves, still in choc about the callous remark of the blonde girl.

* * *

Lexa enters the restaurant called Grounder's and looks for Anya. “I thought you wanted to grab your jacket form my car because you were cold? Did you forget what you were doing?” Anya asked with a questioning look.  


Lexa splutters “Well I'm definitely not cold anymore. I was standing outside looking for your keys in my bag, when this stupid blonde girl barged into me. Can you believe that? She didn't pay attention and I fell on my ass. I swear I just wanted to punch her in the...”.  


“Whoa there Lex, breathe... I get that you're a little on edge because of your exams, but I'm pretty sure the girl didn't do it on purpose and you don't have to kill her! I really hope you weren't that offensive to her.” Anya tries to appease Lexa.  


Lexa is still heated and hisses “But you should have seen her. She was looking at her phone the whole time. I fell on my ass because of her. She can shove her excuse up her ass, I'm really not in the mood to talk to some privileged girl who can't even keep her eyes up.”  


“OK that's enough Lexa! This poor girl was probably just in a hurry and you were being a bitch to her. I know that you usually are a pretty decent person so I'll let it slide this time, but if you ever see this girl again you have to apologize to her. And now let's just eat and forget about you being a crazy person.” Anya lectures and waves for the waiter to take their order. Lexa just sighed, but doesn't want to argue any further.

* * *

Clarke is not even through the door when she starts to grumble “O, you can't believe the encounter I just had. I was walking down the street and I didn't pay attention where I was going and then I collided with a girl. The nice person that I am, I apologized immediately and tried to help her get up, but she just glared at me and started shouting about me being an idiot and stuff. I can't believe it. She is such a bitch. I already thought that before today, but now there is no doubt about it anymore. Ahhrghh, I could scream right now.”  


“Hey, calm down. Who are we even talking about?” Octavia tried to understand.  


Still running up and down in the room, Clarke hisses “This stupid friend of your boy-crush Lincoln. The girl that gives every person in school a death glare when they just look at her the wrong way. The girl who thinks she's better than everyone else... I don't remember her name. It's Alex or Alexa or something...”  


Octavia thinks for a second and agrees “I can't stand her either. I think her name is Lexa. She has English Literature with me. The first week of school I asked her if I may sit next to her and she just looked me right in the eyes and said no. I really don't understand how Lincoln can be friends with her. She is a real bitch.”  


“I didn't know anybody could be this hateful. I obviously didn't do it on purpose.” Clarke added, “But anyways. I didn't come home to ramble about my not so pleasant encounter with the devil. You said you had something to tell me. I need something positive right now, so bring it on.”  


Octavia jumps up from the couch she was sitting on and follows Clarke excitingly to the kitchen. She announces enthusiastically “I know what we will be doing during summer. I found this camp, sort of a summer camp, where we will stay for the whole summer. We will sleep in tents, play games, have bonfires and lots more. Sounds fun right?” She looks at Clarke like a little child, but doesn't even give her time to answer when she already continues, “And that's not even the best part of it. We can form our own teams and participate at the competitions and games together, and the winning team wins 1k dollars at the end of camp. Raven, you and I are so gonna rock this. You're in, right?”  


A week earlier Clarke's parents called her to ask her if she wanted to join them on their summer vacation trip to Madagascar. Aden, Clarke's little brother, hasn't talked about anything else since he watched a movie called 'Madagascar', in which there were talking penguins who would play detective and do silly things and he wanted to check if there really is a zoo with talking animals. So after annoying their parents long enough, they finally agreed to take him to Madagascar for their summer trip. Clarke wanted to spend her holidays with her friends, so she declined.  


“Well I told my parents that I'd spend the holidays with you guys, so sure I'm in. And we will definitely win that money. Nobody is as good a team as we are.”Clarke announced happily. Octavia can't contain her enthusiasm and jumps up to hug Clarke. “This is gonna be the best summer ever, I promise.”Octavia exclaims.  


Right in that moment the door shoots open and a brown haired girl enters. “You're hugging without me? I don't approve! Make room for me.” Raven shouts before running in their direction. Without slowing down she jumps in Octavia's arms and hugs her.  


“Oh my g... Ray you're getting heavier, you should stop doing this. I'll hurt my back at some point, and you know how important a healthy back is for my soccer career.” Octavia begged while laughing.  


“You wish you had my body O. It is fucking perfect. So don't tell me I'm getting fat, because you know as well as me that that isn't true” Raven adds proudly.  


“So what about summer camp? Did you ask her, O? What's it called anyway? Something like Arkia or Arktavia ” Raven asks excitingly, while grabbing herself a sandwich Clarke just made.  


“It's called Arkadia and yes, Clarke is in.” Octavia explains and Raven starts jumping up and down and shouts “We're going to kick asses, bitches.”

* * *

One week later, Lexa has only one more exam she has to write, so she is already a little more relaxed than she was in the restaurant. She knows that she still needs to study, so she gets out of bed early to get to it. Anya is still in her room sleeping, while Lexa opens her books in the living room and begins.  


She is not even ten minutes in when her phone vibrates.

**Lincoln Forrest:**  
Hey Lex, are you up?  
I need to talk to you.  


**Little Sis:**  
Yes, but I'm studying, so if it's quick,  
you can come over, otherwise wait until  
tomorrow.  


**Lincoln Forrest:**  
I have a favor to ask you, so if you agree  
it will only take a second. Hope you're  
in a good mood. Be there in 10. Ly

Lexa loves her almost foster brother, so she would do almost anything for him. She is pretty sure that this favor has something to do with this girl Octavia he can't shut up about. Lexa has known Lincoln for a while now, and she has never seen him like this before. It's not like Lincoln hadn't had any girlfriends or just crushes yet, but he never has been pining for someone as much as he has about this girl. Three days earlier, Lincoln came practically running in Lexa's room all excited, just because Octavia smiled at him. He is usually not so sappy, but with her he just can't help himself. And Lexa thinks it's cute and she wants to help him to get the girl.  


So when Lincoln enters the apartment with a goofy smile on his face, she knows she was right with her assumption.  


“What did she do this time, and what do you need me for?”Lexa asks right away while rolling her eyes. Lincoln looks at her sheepishly and she thinks she even sees him blushing, but doesn't want to dwell on it. He let's himself fall on the couch next to Lexa and looks at her. “She asked me something, and I sort of told her I'd do it, but I need you to make that happen. I'm sorry that I'm putting you in this situation, but she asked my brain shut of and I couldn't think of any other word than yes...” Lincoln keeps rambling.  


“Whoa whoa Romeo, breathe... I have no idea what you're talking about, and I sure as hell won't kill you, so just tell me what I have to do and let me go back to my interesting story about World War II.” Lexa chuckles while grabbing herself and Lincoln a bottle of water.  


“Fine. So for starters I figured out what you're going to do during your summer.” Lincoln starts to explain. Lexa is just about to protest while glaring at her brother, when he continues “I told Octavia that I would participate at this camp. The same one Anya will be counseling. She was talking about it with her friends when she saw me and asked if I was going. I blacked out and told her yes. But I have a problem now, because I need a teammate for this camp. I already asked Bellamy, but he told me that he has something planned for the summer, and since I can't ask Anya, you have to do it. You said you wanted to help me make a move on her, and this is my chance. I'll have the whole summer to woo her with my charms.”  


Lexa is quiet, what seems like half an hour for Lincoln, when she finally speaks up. “I really don't like the idea of spending MY WHOLE summer with the people from our school, but if you're going and Anya is going, I would be home alone with Indra and Gus, and I'm not up for their interrogation about me still being single for the whole summer. So I guess if there is no other option, I'm in. But under one...” Lexa looks at Lincoln with a stern look in her eyes “We share a tent, so no making out in our tent. I love you Linc, but I'm not okay with watching you put your tongue in someone's mouth.”  


Lincoln jumps up and almost crashes Lexa in the process and hugs her. “Thank you so much sis. I love you. And if by any miracle she wants to make out with me, I promise I'll make sure to keep it out of your face.”  


He runs in Lexa's room to grab her laptop so he can sign them up before Lexa changes her mind.  


Lexa isn't convinced that this was a good idea, but seeing Lincoln all happy and excited is worth it. While Lincoln is on her laptop, Lexa decides that she has wasted enough time now and goes back to her studies. 

* * *

The same time on the other side of campus, Clarke and Octavia are in their room. Clarke just finished her last painting, and is happy to just relax now and prepare for summer camp. Octavia still has to study and sighs every now and then, clearly not in the mood to study.  


Suddenly Octavia jumps up with a panicked look on her face. “We still haven't signed up for summer camp. How could I forget that. I told Lincoln I'd be going and he is too, so we have to do this right away before it is to late.” O says while grabbing her laptop and simultaneously jumping on Clarke's bed.  


“Jeez O, you're crushing me. I'm sure it's not too late yet, just open the website and sign us up.” Clarke groans and tries to free herself from underneath Octavia.  


It doesn't take Octavia long to find the right website and the register. She starts with her name and information. It's not much to fill in, so it doesn't take her long. Next is Raven. She has known Raven since she was six years old, so it's no problem to fill in all her information. She clicks on Enter, so she can enter Clarke's information, but then instead of being able to enter a third name, she reads: Thank you for your registration. We will see you and your teammate in 8 days.  


“What the hell... I haven't entered your name yet. What just happened?” Octavia looks at Clarke with a puzzled look on her face.  


Clarke shrugs and takes Octavia's laptop on her knees. She starts reading the information about the camp when she suddenly finds what she was looking for. With a sad look in her eyes, she reads to Octavia “Arkadia is a summer camp where you and your best friend can team up and participate at all our competitions. The TWO of you will sleep in the same tent and spend the whole two months together and have the best time in your life. So if you and your friend are between 15 and 19 years old, sign up for a summer full of adventures, new friendships and a lot of fun.”  


“This means only two people per team... So maybe I will spend the holidays with my parents after all.” Clarke concludes sadly.  


“The hell you will! We will find you another teammate so you can come along. What about that chick from your Art History class?” Octavia frowns, while thinking of other people who would be up to spend the whole summer with them.  


“You mean Harper?” Clarke asks, and Octavia nods. “She told me that she would spend the holidays with her brother in Australia, so she's out.”  


“And the Monroe, the girl from my soccer team you went on a few dates with? You think she would be up to share a tent with you?” Octavia suggests a little unsure.  


“No, that's a definite no! She hit me in the face when she found out I didn't want a relationship with her and I just wanted to stay friends. How could you even think that I wanted to ask her?!”Clarke disagrees.  


“Right right, sorry... I forgot about that. But wait, I have the perfect solution!” Octavia shrieks happily. She grabs her phone and starts typing:

**Little Blake:**  
Hey big brother. Need your help.  
Come to my place as fast as you  
can.  
PS: Nobody is dying.  
Love you  


**Nerdy Bro:**  
Give me 5 minutes.  


  
“Who are you writing? You know it's my choice not yours, right? I have to spend my summer with them.” Clarke mumbles annoyed. She would have loved to be in her friends team, but now she at least find someone she likes to team up with and not just be with someone Octavia likes and she doesn't even know.  


“Whoa Clarke, chill a little. I know it sucks that you have to find another teammate, and I just want to help. I asked Bellamy to come over. I haven't even told him anything about Arkadia, and I thought since Lincoln is his best friend, he wouldn't be opposed to the idea. And by the way, I know that you like him as a friend too, so I thought it was a good idea, but if you don't want to share a tent with him I'll call him.” Octavia explains a little wounded.  


“I'm sorry O. I was just disappointed that I couldn't room with you, so I let it out on you” Clarke moves closer to Octavia to hug her.  


Not even a minute later, the door to their room opens and Bellamy comes in.  


“What happened? Is everything ok? You said you needed help!” Bellamy exclaims panicked.  


Octavia starts laughing at her brothers scared face and explains “told you that no one is dying. We are fine, we just need your help during the summer. I hope you don't have any plans with your girlfriend Gina for the summer. And by the way, I still don't like her. I think you can do way better than this stupid rich girl.”  


Bellamy let's himself fall on Clarke's bed and his face switches from annoyed to sad in only a second. “You don't have to worry about her anymore. She dumped me two hours ago, because apparently she she fell in love with Finn, the quarterback of our team, and thinks that it's only fair that she sets me free. So maybe you were right O, and she is not the person I thought she was. If she wants to date a jackass like this brat Finn, then I'm definitely not the guy for her.” he explains, “We had planned to go on a road trip this summer, but clearly that won't happen so what do you need me for?”  


Clarke sits down next to Bellamy and hugs him “I'm sorry that she dumped you. She clearly is an idiot. You are a great guy and you will find someone who will love you for who you are. And believe me, Finn got nothing on you! He seems to be a nice guy, but he definitely isn't. I dated him for over a year, and he cheated on me with at least three different girls I know about. So if she leaves you for him. It is her loss.” Clarke tries to comfort him.  


He leans into her hug and sighs. Bellamy has been in love with Clarke since he can remember. He even asked her out a year ago, but Clarke told him that he is more like a brother for her. Their relationship didn't change after that, but everyone thought that Bellamy had moved on when he started dating Gina, but truth is, he still can't get over Clarke. He hasn't given up hope yet, that she will realize at some point that she loves him too.  


Octavia speaks up “Well like you know I didn't like her, but I never would have wished for her to break up with you. I love you, and I hate to see you this sad, but lucky for you I have the perfect distraction for you. You're going to spend the summer with Clarke.” Bellamy starts coughing and looks at Octavia with wide eyes. “Well not just with Clarke. With me and Raven as well. We will all go to summer camp together, and you and Clarke will share a tent and be teammates.”Octavia states confidently.  


“Me and Clarke share a tent? I'm not so sure that's a good idea. Clarke probably doesn't even want to share a tent with me, right?”Bellamy looks at Clarke.  


“Well I wouldn't mind. I have no one to share with, because the three of us can't room together, so I would be fine with us being a team if you're up for it. And I think O is right, that it would be a good distraction.” Clarke clarifies.  


A distraction right, but not the way you think... Bellamy thinks.”I don't have any other plan, so I may as well help you have a great summer. And beating Raven and my little sister at competitions is not so bad either, so sign me up.”  


“Yeah, everything turned out perfectly. I'll sign you up right away so there will be no backing out.” Octavia shouts enthusiastically. “We are coming bitches, and we are so going to crush them all!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They arrive in camp and are introduced to the supervisors and the other campers.

# Teammates?

Almost a week later...  
Lexa is sitting in her room, trying to figure out what she needs to pack for camp. She doesn't know a lot about what they will be doing at camp, so she is a little frustrated, because she doesn't know what she needs to bring.  
Deciding that she has struggled enough, she calls Anya.

 

-Hey An... I need your help.

-Morning Lex, what's wrong?

-I don't know what I need to pack. Lincoln didn't tell me a lot about camp. I think he was afraid that I would back out, so I have like no idea what I need, to survive there.

-Haha, if you knew everything that you are going to do, you would probably chicken out and stay home, so Lincoln made the right choice.  
But as nice as I am, I'm going to help you. I'll be there in 10 minutes. And don't even think about bringing books. You will definitely have better things to do than to read.

-There is nothing that is better than reading, but I guess I could survive two months without reading if you insist. And thanks for helping, I appreciate it. Love you.

-See you soon, and love you too Little one.

-Stop calling me that...

 

She couldn't even finish her sentence, because Anya hung up the phone. Still grumbling about being called little, even though she is bigger than her sister, she goes to the bathroom to grab her toothbrush and toothpaste and a few other things.

Lexa thinks about how different this summer will be from her last few summers. She hasn't done anything fun in a while and she hopes that this summer will be a good one. Since Lexa doesn't have a lot of friends, she spends most of her free time with her sister and Lincoln. Anya had to work most of the time during the last summers, and Lincoln was most of it out with friends. He always invited Lexa to come along, but she didn't want to impose. This summer the three of them will spend together and Lexa is really looking forward to it, even though she would never admit that to Anya or Lincoln.

Lexa is still deep in her thoughts, when Anya comes in. She starts laughing when she sees what Lexa was thinking of bringing to camp. 

“Toilet paper and candles? What do you think is going to happen to you there? It is not like we are going to be in the middle of nowhere. It is like a camping place. There will be toilets, with toilet paper, there will also be bathrooms where you can shower. And we do have lamps, so you definitely don't need to bring candles. Let along five of them. Even though I know that the candles are more for your liking than for the necessity to survive.”

“Candles can be very helpful in a dark forest, there is a possibility that there will be no batteries or the lights won't work. And with candles you do not have that problem. And even more, they smell nice. I won't go anywhere without them. So if you want me to leave them here, I'm staying too. And now help me figure out what else besides the candles I need.” Lexa answers. 

She is annoyed that Anya always makes fun of her because she likes candles so much. She just can't help herself. If she sees them in the store she has to buy a few. In her opinion one can never have enough candles. 

“Yeah yeah, fine you can take them, but not all five. Take two of them. And your candle obsession is starting to concern me.” Anya frowns, but still got a smirk on her face when she sees that Lexa is trying to protest. “But whatever. Let's start this.”

Anya lets herself fall on Lexa's bed and yawns. “So first of all, you need good shoes. Their will be a lot of walking. Then normal clothes and work out clothes and pack a bikini, the camp is right next to a river, and I already know, that their will be a few competitions in the water. So if you don't wanna compete naked, pack of of those. “ Anya explains, while showing to Lexa's collection of bikinis. “Also we have the possibility to wash our clothes there, so don't bring your whole closet, because there is not a lot of space where you can place it.”

Lexa listens carefully and packs all the stuff Anya mentions in her bag.

“And then you just need your sleeping bag and a pillow to be more comfortable. And if I were you, I'd pack a blanket, because during the nights it could be cold with only your sleeping bag in the tent.” Anya concludes. 

Lexa grabs her favourite blanket and puts it in her bag. She goes through her room and packs a few more things like a flashlight and a lighter for her candles. 

Anya is excited for the summer. She always wanted to participate herself, but after her parents died it wasn't the right time, and now that she is 24, and she has the chance to work in a summer camp as supervisor, she is really looking foreword to it.

Lexa still can stay for two more days, while Anya has to leave this evening, because the supervisors have to prepare some things before the campers get there. Also she has to meet the other supervisors and they have to see how this whole competition will work. 

Anya's ex-girlfriend Luna will be a supervisor as well. 

Anya and Luna were together for almost two years. They met a little after Anya's parents died, and they went to school together. They were best friends and thought it was a good idea to start dating. They were happy for a long time, but after two years, both of them realized that they weren't meant to be a couple, so they broke up. They are still friends now. Not as good friends as they were before they started dating, but they sighed up together for camp, so they are on pretty good terms. 

Anya looks up at Lexa and says “Luna will pick me up in two hours. My bag is already packed, so I got some time to talk. I really want you to listen.”  
Lexa swallows, and already knows what Anya is going to say, but only nods shyly. 

“I know that losing Costia was hard. I understand why you haven't let anyone in, in such a long time. But it has been 3 years. You can't be miserable you're whole life because she isn't here anymore. I'm not even talking about falling in love again, but at least try to make friends during this summer. It is really worrying me that you don't have anyone to talk to beside me and Linc. So please just promise me that you will try to be nice to at least a few people so you could maybe even find a new friend. I'm not asking you to replace Cos, because I know that isn't possible, but be open for something knew. Costia would have wanted that for you.” Anya looks at Lexa who has tears in her eyes and is looking on the ground.

Lexa hasn't talked about Costia in a very long time, which makes it pretty hard for her to be confronted like this right now. Costia was Lexa's first love, and Lexa thinks that she was her soulmate and that she will never find anyone else she could love as much as she loved Costia.

**

_Lexa was 6 years old when she saw Costia for the first time. It was the first day of kindergarten. Lexa was really nervous, because she didn't know anyone at school._

_When all the children entered the classroom, they sat down in a circle. Most of the children were talking to each other, and they all seemed to be friends already. Lexa was really shy, so it wasn't easy for her to talk to the other kids, but suddenly she saw this girl crying beside her._

_The girl seemed to be mortified , and Lexa told herself that she wanted to see this girl smile. Lexa just looked at the girl and gave her the teddy bear she had been holding the whole time. Anya gave it to her so she wouldn't be lonely for her first day in kindergarten, and Lexa thought that maybe the little bear would help the girl too. “Here, you can hold him. My sister told me that he would keep me company if I felt lonely. So just hold him real tight and I'm sure you will feel better right away.”Lexa said to the girl with a smile on her face._

_The girl looked at Lexa, not really sure what to do, and grabbed the bear and hugged him really fast. She seemed to relax a little, but still didn't say a word._

_“My name is Lexa and his name is Titus. You can keep him as long as you need. I promise he will protect you and keep you company.“ Lexa said while pointing at the teddy bear._

_“Thank you Lexa. I really appreciate it. My name is Costia.” they girl answered shyly. Lexa swore that she just saw they little girl smile a little, and she is sure that she wants to make this girl, Costia, smile more often, because it was the most beautiful smile she had ever seen._

_From that day on, Costia and Lexa were inseparable. They did everything together. They told each other everything and they couldn't even go one day without seeing each other._

_Just after Lexa turned 14, Costia told Lexa that she is gay and asked her out on a date. To that point in her life, Lexa hasn't even thought about her sexuality. Her sister Anya already came out to her and her family, so it wasn't that she wasn't aware of homosexuality, but she just hadn't thought about it, so Costia's question came a little as a surprise for her._

_She had to think about it for a while before she could give her an answer, but finally she realized that it made sense that she is gay. She never fancied boys or even liked them in the slightest. And she liked Costia a lot, so she thought she could try dating her best friend._

_A little afraid that this could ruin their friendship, Lexa went out with Costia. Suddenly it all made sense to her. She was in love with her best friend, and her best friend loved her back._

_The two of them couldn't be any happier. They were the couple everyone looked up to and envied, and Lexa had never been more happy in her life._

_They were together for almost two years, when the accident happened and Lexa's life fell apart._

**

“Are you okay, Lex?” Anya asks a little concerned, “you know I don't tell you this to make you feel angry or sad, right? I just want you to be happy, because I love you more than anyone else in this world, and I can see that you are suffering. You deserve to be happy again.”

Lexa wipes away the tears rolling down her face and gives Anya a little smile “I know that you mean well, Anya, and maybe I could be nice to the other campers. We'll see. And I know that it wasn't easy for you either, and that me being so closed off and heartbroken all the time just made it harder for you. So I want to thank you for all you've done for me in the last three years. I love you too, and I promise that I'll try to be better.”

At this point Anya and Lexa are crying together. Anya moves closer to Lexa and hugs her really tight and she sobs “You don't have to apologize for anything, just try to move on, that would make me really happy.”

Lexa nods, not able to do anything else, but she is not sure if she can keep that promise.

* * *

Clarke already finished packing her back for camp, so she is laying in her bed at the moment, listening to music and enjoying a little time alone, before Octavia rushes in the room. 

She is not even fully inside when she already tells Clarke that she needs her help packing. Octavia seems a little stressed “I have to pack. Bellamy is picking us up in half an hour and I haven't even started packing, so I need your help.”

“And why is it that you haven't started packing yet? Has it anything to do with the fact that you got Lincoln's phone number two days ago?” Clarke mentions smirking.

Two days ago Clarke, Octavia and Raven visited Bellamy in his apartment. Lincoln is usually out when they come by, but this time he was there as well. Raven, Octavia, Clarke and Bellamy were playing video games when Lincoln entered the living room asking he could join them. Octavia nodded way to fast and even offered him her controller so he could play, pretending she wanted to stop anyway. So Lincoln sat down next to Octavia and they played for a while. 

After a few hours, Bellamy asked if they wanted something to eat and that he could go and grab some Chinese takeout. They all agreed and Clarke and Raven offered to accompany Bellamy, so that Lincoln and Octavia could have a little time to talk.

Lincoln was pretty shy and they didn't talk a lot while the others were gone, but Lincoln mentioned that it wouldn't be bad if Octavia had his number, so that if she had any problems getting to camp she could write him, since he will be driving anyways.

And since that day Octavia hasn't left her phone for more that 2 minutes.

Octavia is blushing, but doesn't deny that Clarke is right with her assumption why she hasn't packed yet.

Since Clarke already packed all her stuff, it doesn't take them long to finish with Octavia's bag.

Just as they have finally finished, they hear a sound at the door. It sounds like someone ran in the door with their head. Octavia opens the door and sees Raven standing there with her bag, sleeping bag and a second bag which seems to be for her laptop, since Raven wouldn't leave without it. 

Laptops usually aren't allowed at camp, but Raven convinced the camp leaders that she would need it because she has to do stuff for school, because she has a scholarship and she can't lose this one because of a summer camp. They were pretty understanding and let her bring it. The campers will be living in nature, which is why there is no technology allowed. The campers can't even bring their phones. They told Raven that she could use her laptop only for school stuff, but Clarke and Octavia already know that they will be watching some movies on it.

Raven walks in and puts her luggage next to Clarke's and hugs Clarke and Octavia to greet them.

“Who's ready for the best summer of our lives?” Raven cheers happily, while jumping up and down.

“I am.” a male voice says behind them. “Bellamy, you're here. Perfect. Now we can leave.” Octavia replies and grabs her stuff, ready to leave right away.

The others laugh at Octavia's eagerness, but don't object. So all of them take their luggage and walk to the car.

“Shotgun” Raven shouts and Octavia frowns, because she wanted to ride shotgun but was to slow. Clarke doesn't care where she sits, she just wants to sleep for two more hours before everything starts.

They put everything in the car and Bellamy starts driving.

It only takes them two and a half hour to get there.

When they enter the parking lot that is reserved for the campers, they find it almost empty. There are only 5 cars parked, and they see no people at all.

“Are you sure this is the right place, Bellamy?” Octavia asks, while looking around.

“I guess so. I saw a sign not far from here that said Arkadia should be here. Let's just walk around for a while and maybe we will find someone we can ask.” Bellamy answers and starts walking towards the lake.

The three girls follow him and not even after 5 minutes they see a big sign with “Arkadia camp” written on it. They move towards the sign when they see a person walking towards them. 

“Bellamy, Octavia is that you?” the woman asks. “Anya? What are you doing here? I didn't know you would participate as well. Lincoln didn't tell me. Is he here already too? I didn't see his car.” Octavia keeps rambling.

“Okay O, slow down. First of all, I am not a camper. I am one of the supervisors, so you better behave or you are going to have problems with me. And then second, no Lincoln is not here yet. You are way to early. We wrote you to be here at 6 pm and it is not even 4, but because I am a nice person, you can come with me and I am going to show you where you can put your luggage for the moment and I'm going to write your names down and introduce you to the other supervisors. So Lincoln and my sister Lexa will be here in 2 hours and until then you have to be satisfied with me.” Anya explain to mostly Octavia.

“Oh no, Lexa is coming too? I hope her tent will be far away from ours, I can't stand this girl, she is such a bitch.” Clarke whispers to Raven and rolls her eyes, clearly annoyed. 

“Well I have never met this Lexa chick, but if she is related to Anya, she can't be that bad. Anya is pretty hot and she seems to be nice too, so maybe you just need to give Lexa another chance and maybe she is not as bad as you think she is.” Raven reasons with Clarke while looking at Anya and almost drooling. 

“Yeah well, I don't think so” Clarke mumbles and follows Anya. 

They meet the other supervisors, who introduce themselves. There are 8 supervisors: Luna, Anya, Ontari, Roan, Wells, John(Who prefers to be called Murphy), Jackson and Niylah. 

Most of them seem to be pretty nice, except the twins Ontari and Roan. The two of them look like they could kill someone without even blinking.

Anya shows them around a little, shows them where they will be sleeping for the next two months and explains the rules already to them, because she knows Bellamy and Octavia, and she doesn't want to get in trouble because of them.

* * *

When Lexa and Lincoln arrive, there are almost no parking spaces left. They exit the car and follow some people who seem to be campers as well. 

They are the last to arrive, and everyone else is already sitting in the grass waiting for them to sit down as well.

The supervisors are standing in front of everyone and introduce themselves. Then the director of the camp, Thelonius Jaha, speaks up: “Welcome new campers. My name is Thelonius Jaha, and I'm the director of this camp. So if at any point during the next two months you have a problem and you can't solve it by talking to your supervisors, you can come to me. As in every year, camp Arkadia has organized a summer full of fun. For the ones of you who already participated last year, you know the drill, but for the rest of you I'm going to explain how this is going to work.” 

Jaha looks around to see if everyone is listening and then continues. “You will be divided in 4 groups. Every group has two supervisors responsible for them, but they are not only your supervisors, but they will be you teammates as well. You participate in the games as groups, but there will be also games where you will participate with only your tent-partner. One team of two people will be winning 1000k at the end of this summer. But beside the fun parts, there will be some rules.”

Jaha specifically looks at two boys sitting next to Lincoln and goes on with his speech. “There will be no alcohol in camp. Most of you aren't 21 yet, and a few of you aren't even 18 yet. So no exceptions, no one gets alcohol. The second rule is, that you have to listen to your supervisors. They will be responsible for you and if you don't listen to them, they can decide to kick you out. Especially during some games, it is important to listen so you will be safe. The third and most important rule is that nobody leaves camp without a superior and at night, everybody stays in their tent.”

Everyone seems to be okay with the rules, except a few boys and Raven who are complaining about the no alcohol part.

“So that's it for the rules right now. Today we will only spread you into groups, and then you can go make yourself comfortable in your tents, and then we will all be together again for dinner in two hours. The supervisors that call out your names will be your supervisors for the rest of the summer, so you should be nice to them.” Jaha concludes.

The supervisors call out names, some girls named Echo and Nia are in Ontari's and Roan's group. Maya and Fox are in in Wells' and Murphy's group. Some guys named Nathan Miller and Sterling are in Jackson and Niylah's group. Then Anya calls Raven and Octavia who will be in her and Luna's group, same for Lincoln and Lexa. Then a few more people are called by the different supervisors. To boys, Jasper and Monty are in Anya's group as well. 

Bellamy and Clarke are the two last ones waiting, and finally Anya calls their names as well. Happy to be in the same group as her two best friends, Clarke runs up to them and hugs them. 

“Now that this is done, the supervisors will show you to your tents. The groups will be sleeping in different parts of camp, so we will see each other again for dinner.” Jaha finishes his speech and turns around to get in his cabin.

Luna shows her group where they will be sleeping and she tells them that she really wants that one of her teams will win the whole competition this year. “This will be my third year that I will be supervising and this year one of my teams will win. The last two years it was always one of Ontari's and Roan's teams who won, and they kind of rub it in my face every time I see them, so we have to change that this year.”

Anya explains who will be sleeping in which tent. “So we have Monty and Jasper who will be sleeping in the tent right next to ours, because we heard what you did last year, and we wanna prevent anything like that from happening this year. Then the tent next to the tree will be Octavia and Raven's. Now with the other two groups there is a problem.”

Anya looks at Lexa who is staring back at her with a not so amused look on her face.

Luna sees the way Lexa is looking at Anya and decides that it would be a better idea if she told Lexa the bad news, because Lexa wouldn't kill her, but with Anya she wasn't so sure. “Since a few of our campers are underage, camp-director Jaha decided that there will be no mixed teams. He doesn't want anyone getting pregnant during this summer, because he had this problem last year and doesn't want it to happen again. So we decided that the easiest solution is that Lincoln will be rooming with Bellamy, and Lexa and Clarke will share a tent. Bellamy and Lincoln, you take tent next to the bathroom, and Lexa and Clarke you will sleep in the tent closest to the lake.”

“What?! No, no, this can't be happening...” Clarke and Lexa say in union.


	3. Finding friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa finally talks to a few people. They spend their first night in camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy Guys,  
> Thanks for all the nice comments and I hope you like where the story is leading to.

# Finding friends

Clarke and Lexa just stare at each other and can't believe what they just heard. This can't be happening Clarke thinks and looks over at Octavia and Raven silently begging them to help her. She can't spend her whole summer sleeping next to Lexa. She decides that she needs to talk to Anya or Luna about this, and when she sees Lexa running to Anya she decides to take her chances with Luna.

“Can we talk for a second?” Clarke asks Luna with a frown on her forehead, Luna just nods and tells Clarke to sit down. “Lexa and I, we can't share a tent.” Clarke begins. “She is a horrible person. She is just so mean to everyone and I definitely don't want to ruin my own summer by spending it with her. I don't have a problem with her being in the same group as me, but we can't be teammates. Wouldn't it be possible that I share with you and Lexa with Anya?”

Clarke looks at Luna with a hopeful glance in her eyes. “I'm sorry Clarke, but since it is a competition, Anya and I, we can't team up with one of you. Believe me, we thought about every possible way to not make you to share a tent, but there is no other way. Lexa isn't as bad as you may think now. I know she seems tough and sometimes even mean, but that isn't her at all. You two could make it work for two months, I'm sure of it. You just have to sleep in the same tent, and for the rest of the time you will be with everyone else as well.” Luna tries to convince Clarke.

Clarke murmurs something and looks over at Lexa who is arguing pretty bad with her sister.

“You knew that I couldn't be with Lincoln and you didn't say a word, Anya. I wouldn't have come and you know it. I can't believe you did that and now I have to team up with that stupid blonde who doesn't even look where she's going and then bitches about me being in the way. “ Lexa says a little bit to loud, because Clarke heard every word.

“Excuse me?! I was being a bitch? I apologized like five times because I ran you over, I even offered you a hand to get up, but you just ignored it.” Clarke is starting to get really angry, and when she is angry she often says some stuff she doesn't really mean, and since Octavia and Raven know this, they decide to step in and stop her.

“Clarke come on, come help us with our tent, and then we are going to find a solution, but you have to calm down a little.” Octavia tries to calm Clarke down.

Lincoln seems to have the same opinion as Octavia and says “You to Lex. You are being a bitch right now. Come help me and Bell for a while and then you should apologize to Clarke. She apologized already, so you should too, and then you can forget about it and move on, so you don't ruin all of our summers.”

Both girls don't seem to be convinced that either of them would change their mind, but they follow their friends.

* * *

After a while, Clarke, Raven and Octavia finished putting up the first tent, and they put already all of Octavia's and Raven's stuff in. Clarke decides that she has to put her tent up at some point and since she doesn't believe that Lexa would even think about doing it herself, she makes her way to their spot. 

Arriving there, she is surprised to find the tent already set up. She looks around to see if Lexa was still around, but couldn't find her. She grabs her sleeping bag and her bag, and enters the tent. She is surprised to find Lexa's stuff all clean on one side of the tent and the other side all empty. She hadn't expected to find it like that. It looks to her as if Lexa even tried to be nice and make this as easy for Clarke as possible.

Clarke quickly suppresses that thought, because she is pretty sure that Lexa wouldn't do such a nice thing. She puts her stuff neat at her side of the tent and quickly leaves, before Lexa comes back and she has to speak with her.

“Attention group. I hope you are all finished with your tents. Could you please come to our tent?” Clarke hears Anya's voice through the microphone. 

They all sit down in the grass around the bonfire Luna set up. “Now that you all put your stuff away, I have to say a few more things. First thing is, that during the night no one leaves their tent alone. So if you have to go to the bathroom wake your teammate so that they can accompany you. I know that you are not babies, but you are my responsibility during the next two months and I definitely don't want to get in trouble because you get lost on your way to the bathroom. Second rule is, that every team has a walkie-talkie. Just take them with you when you leave your tent during the night, and for most of the other time, you can just leave it in your tents. This is not a toy, right Jasper?! So don't just use it because you are to lazy to move. And the last thing I wanted to talk about for now is more like a suggestion than a rule. I know that a lot of you like their morning run, including me, so if you are interested, just let me know and I'll wake you in the morning.” Anya finishes while looking around to see who is interested to go running with her in the mornings. 

Lincoln is the first one to say that he would love to join and Octavia is right behind him. Lexa is the last one to be interested in running, and the other campers just look at them with a disgusted look in their eyes.

“How can anyone want to go running? And then early in the morning? I don't get you guys” Raven says displeased and shakes her head. Clarke is fast to agree with Raven. She loves her sleep way too much to get out of bed for such a thing as running.

* * *

They all get ready for dinner. They will be eating in a big cabin in the woods. It is a fifteen-minute walk for Anya's team. When they arrive the other teams are already seated at the tables and are talking happily to each other.

Octavia and Raven run towards the last table and sit down ready to eat. They are all really hungry and camp-director Jaha speaks up “Now that the last team has arrived, you may all start. Enjoy your meal!”

“I am so happy to be here. This is going to be a great summer.” Raven exclaims. “Yes, I agree, and we are so going to win the money” Octavia answers enthusiastically and high-fives Raven.

Clarke is talking to Monty who explains her that he studies Informatics and is really talented with his hand, to which Jasper makes an inappropriate joke. Clarke can tell that Monty and Jasper have been best friends for a while now, just by the way they interact with each other.

Clarke remembers how she, Octavia and Raven met. Octavia and Clarke have known each other since birth. Well Clarke's parents and Octavia's parents have been best friends since college and they decided to move to the same area. So they just grew up with each other. She met Raven when she was 10 years old. They went to the same school and they got close right away. Raven's father died when she was really young, and her mother didn't really look after her, so Raven spent most of her time at Clarke's place. Raven even considers Aden, her brother as well, and loves him very much.

When everybody seems to be finished eating, the leave the cabin and go to the main place. There they find a big bonfire and they hear music. The music isn't too loud, so it is possible for them to talk to each other and get to know each other.

Clarke usually doesn't have a problem to talk to people and make friends, so she just goes up to two of the supervisors, Wells and Niylah. They are also talking to two of Wells' campers, but Clarke doesn't remember their names. Clarke introduces herself to Wells and Niylah and they chat for a little while. They seem to get along pretty well and on the other side of the area, Lexa can even hear Clarke laughing every so often. 

Lexa is more like the opposite of Clarke. She is socially awkward and she has trouble dealing with people she doesn't know. Since Lincoln is talking to Octavia, and Anya is talking to Luna, Raven and some girls, Lexa is sitting at the bonfire alone. She doesn't really mind that she sits alone. She uses this time to look around and analyze some of the other campers.

She starts with the people in her group. She knows Lincoln already and what she heard about Octavia tells her that Octavia might be a good girl. The way she looks at Lincoln tells Lexa already that she likes him too, and she doesn't seem to be the kind of girl to fool around with Lincoln just for fun.

Then there is Raven, who is definitely flirting with Anya at the moment. Lexa envies this girl. She seems to be so confident about herself and she doesn't even care if she makes a fool out of herself. She just does what she wants to do. Lexa could never do that. She thinks way too much about everything in her life. It's hard for her to just let loose and stop to just over-think her every move.

The two younger boys, Monty and Jasper, seem to be okay. They are a bit childish, but Lexa thinks that she could get along with them. They look like people, who wouldn't judge her. She doesn't know a lot about them. She knows that they have been best friends since they were kids, that they were already in camp the previous year, and that they made a lot of stupid things during that year, because Jaha warned them separately to not do anything stupid this year.

Bellamy she has already met a few times when she visited Lincoln in his apartment. She likes him. He seems to be a nice guy and he takes good care of his sister. Also it is pretty clear to her that Bellamy is in love with Clarke. He can't stop staring at her, and he even seems jealous that she is talking to the supervisors instead of him. Lexa thinks it's funny that Clarke doesn't even realize he is looking at her the whole time.

An then, finally there is Clarke. The girl Lexa was so mad at. Lexa doesn't even know why she acts like such a bitch when she is around the blonde. It is just that the blonde does something to her she can't handle. She is still angry at her sister for not telling her that she couldn't room with Lincoln, but maybe if she'd apologize to Clarke, her summer could still be good. Everyone seems to like Clarke, so maybe it was her fault and Clarke really isn't as bad as she thought she was.

She hears Clarke laugh again, and she finds herself smiling at it. When she realizes that she is smiling, she quickly shakes her head to lose the thought of Clarke.

“Hey Little One. Having fun?” Anya stands in front of her and hands her a cup of water. “Have you even talked to anyone except me and Lincoln today?” she asks a little disappointed.

“Well, I told this girl where she could find the bathroom, if that counts.” Lexa shrugs and looks down. “You know I'm not good at this. Can't I just go back to my tent and call it a night?” Lexa asks a little tired.

“Well if you can convince Clarke to accompany you, then sure, but it seems like she is having fun at the moment. And she doesn't really like you, which is your fault, so I don't think she would do that for you. And besides if you don't talk to anyone, how could you find any friends? You promised me that you would try and be open about a new friendship. What about Raven? She seems to be nice, and she is friends with Clarke, so maybe she could help you to win Clarke over, so the summer won't be ruined for both of you.” Anya tries to motivate Lexa.

Lexa doesn't seem to be happy with that idea, but Anya doesn't care and calls Raven over. “Hey Reyes, come over here. I want you to meet someone.” Raven ends her conversation with the girl she has been talking to and walks towards Anya. “Hey HotStuff, miss me already? I was gone for like half an hour.”Raven smirks at Anya who just rolls her eyes.

“No, I am all good, but my little sister needs help. She is socially awkward and needs help to find some friends and since you already seem to know almost everyone here, you can introduce her.” Anya explains without looking at Lexa, knowing the younger girl is staring at her.

“Well thank you An, that may really help me with people if you introduce me as socially awkward.” Lexa comments sarcastically, and doesn't even want to look at Raven, because she is way too embarrassed.

“Well sure Anya, for you I'd do anything. Is that all you need, or can I HELP you as well?” Raven asks smirking and winks at Anya. And Anya just once again rolls her eyes at Raven and thinks that this will be a long summer if Raven keeps her game up.

“Jas, Mon, come over here, I want you to meet someone.” Raven calls the two boys over and watches Anya leave.

“You really don't have to do is, I'm fine on my own. My sister is a little overprotective sometimes. I am eighteen years old, I am more than capable of finding my own friends” Lexa explains Raven, maybe a little to harsh, but while looking on the ground because she is ashamed.

“Monty,Jasper this is Lexa, Anya's sister. She is in our group as well and she shares a tent with Clarke, so try to be nice to her. And Jasper... No flirting. I'm pretty sure she has a boyfriend or at least is not interested in you, so let her be the only girl in camp you didn't flirt with today, okay?” Raven looks at Jasper who doesn't seem to be happy about Raven's accusation, but nods anyway and makes his way next to Lexa. 

Lexa was right. The two boys are pretty great. She found out that Jasper thinks he is a real player, but hasn't even had his first girlfriend. Also he really likes this girl, Maya from Wells' team. Monty on the other hand is the sweetest boy Lexa has ever met. She doesn't think that anyone could not like Monty. He is well behaved, smart, friendly and he helps everyone to survive Jasper's clumsy flirtation. 

Lexa also found out that Monty is gay. His boyfriend just broke up with him before camp started and he is really sad about it, but wants to move on. 

They keep talking for a while, until the supervisors decide that they should go back to the tents.

* * *

It didn't take them long to arrive near their tents. Since there was only one bathroom near them, the teams use it separately. While Lincoln and Bellamy are getting ready, the other are sitting next to their supervisors tent and keep talking. 

All of them seem to get along pretty well, except Lexa and Clarke who still haven't said a word to each other. 

Clarke usually isn't a stubborn person, when it comes to forgiving people, but she really didn't like the way Lexa treated her the first time. And then when Luna told them about their situation, Lexa made it seem that Clarke was a stupid idiot, so she won't be fast to forgive her, even if Lexa tried to apologize.

When it was their turn to use the bathroom, Clarke hurries in to brush her teeth. Lexa isn't far behind, but she gives Clarke a little time to almost be finished when she enters. When Lexa is standing next to Clarke, the blonde girl just stares at her, but Lexa doesn't want to think about Clarke being mad at her in that moment.

Clarke leaves and goes to Raven and Octavia's tent. She doesn't want to deal with Lexa just yet. When she gets there, Anya is there as well, talking to Raven. 

“What do you think you are doing, Clarke? And where is my sister?” Anya asks.

“Well I'm not tired yet, so I thought I'd stay with Raven and O for a while. And Lexa is still in the bathroom, she went in a little after me.” Clarke explains to Anya and doesn't understand where the problem is.

“You remember the rules, right? Not staying out at night alone. That means first of all you should not be here, and second of all, you shouldn't let Lexa alone. You don't have to look at me like that, Clarke” Anya says while Clarke rolls her eyes at the way Anya treats her, “I know that you and you friends are the oldest here in camp and you are already eighteen, but there are 15 year-olds here, and I can't treat you any different because you are older. You signed in for this camp, now you have to follow the rules a s well. And it's not like I told you to be in bed at 10 pm, it is already 2 in the morning, so go and get some sleep.”

Clarke looks over at Raven who is staring at Anya's ass and turning bright red when she notices that she has been caught.

Anya accompanies Clarke to her tent, where Lexa is already waiting. Their tent is pretty small, so Lexa knows that they will be lying pretty close next to each other. Lexa really wants to apologize to Clarke, but she is not really sure what she should say.

Lexa enters the tent and lays herself in her sleeping bag. Even though it is already summer, it is pretty cold during the night since camp is in the middle of a forest. She makes herself comfortable and hopes she will heat up at some point.

She hears Anya and Clarke talking in front of her tent, and Clarke tells Anya that she is studying art and that she really loves it. Clarke sounds so happy when she talks about art, Lexa thinks.

Lexa tries to go to sleep but right in that moment Clarke enters the tent and lays down beside her. The first thing Lexa notices is Clarke's perfume. She smells like vanilla and Lexa really likes it. It reminds her of a cozy Sunday afternoon in winter, in front of a fireplace, and it is really relaxing.

“I'm sorry for how I treated you. Usually I'm not so mean, so I hope we can start over.” Lexa whispers a little ashamed. 

Clarke turns around and looks Lexa right in the eyes. This is the first time Lexa notices how blue Clarke's eyes really are. Of course she has already noticed that Clarke is beautiful, but she hasn't looked at the blonde from this close. 

Clarke looks at Lexa as well and just answers “yeah, whatever”.

This was definitely not the answer Lexa expected and hoped for, but she couldn't blame Clarke, because she really doesn't deserve to be of the hook this quickly.

It doesn't take long for Clarke to fall asleep, and Lexa hears her snore a little, but isn't bothered by it, because she thinks it's cute and it somehow soothes her.

Lexa isn't a great sleeper. It often takes her way to long to fall asleep and when she finally sleeps, she has nightmares. She hasn't had one night she didn't wake up from a nightmare since the accident. She just hopes she won't wake up Clarke when she has another one.

**

Clarke is fast asleep when she suddenly feels something moving beside her. Still not awake, she turns around to get away from the moving thing so she can go back to sleep. She is almost totally gone again, when she hears someone breathing really fast. Now awake Clarke turns back around to look where the sound and movement is coming from.

What she sees wasn't what she expected. It was Lexa sweating, tossing around and it seemed like she was about to start crying. Clarke realizes that she was having a nightmare. Clarke isn't sure what she should do and just says Lexa's name to wake her. 

Lexa doesn't wake up, and it even seems to get worse, and now Lexa really is crying. Clarke doesn't really like Lexa, but she doesn't like seeing her this way either, so she moves closer to Lexa and she shakes Lexa's shoulder.

“Lexa, come on wake up.” Clarke tries again, and this time it works. Lexa jumps up as fast as she could, shivering like crazy and looks at Clarke with horror in her eyes while tears are still rolling down her cheeks.

It only takes Lexa a minute to compose herself and put her mask back on. She wipes away her tears and lays back down. She is still breathing really fast, but otherwise she has her feelings under control again. 

She knows that after this that it won't be possible for her to go back to sleep, but since she isn't allowed to leave her tent alone she decides that she should just stay in bed until Anya comes and gets her for their morning run.

Lexa has totally forgotten that Clarke is laying beside her and staring at her. “Are you okay?” is all Clarke asks. Clarke is still tired, but doesn't feel comfortable to go back to sleep right away.

“Yeah sure, I'm fine, just won't get anymore sleep tonight, so you should just go back to sleep. I'm used to it.” Lexa answers. Clarke hears the sad sound in Lexa's voice, but is to tired to care at that moment, and so she does just that, and goes back to sleep.


	4. All of me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First competition. Lexa and Clarke mess up as a team, and they finally talk for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii guys...  
> I wanted to post this chapter yesterday, but I didn't have an internet connection, so here it is. Hope you like it. It is a little longer than the ones before, so I hope it doesn't bore you. Have fun:-)

# All of me

It is a little after seven o'clock when Anya gets up to wake Lexa, Lincoln and Octavia for their morning run. She starts with Lexa and isn't surprised to find Lexa already awake.

“Have you slept at all” Anya asks Lexa concerned when she sees Lexa yawn. 

“Yes, not much, but I slept. Clarke woke me up, because I was tossing around like crazy. I tried to go back to sleep after that, but as always I couldn't. But don't worry Anya, you know that after my morning run everything will be okay.” Lexa answers honestly and grabs her sneakers. 

Anya, still concerned about her little sister's sleeping disorder, just nods and goes on to wake Lincoln and Octavia. 

Octavia is already way too energetic for Lexa this early in the morning. Lincoln on the other hand thinks it's cute and seems to be in a good mood as well. Lexa thinks that this is pretty funny since Lincoln is not a morning person at all. They often go running together at home as well, but when she meets Lincoln he is always grumpy. Lexa smiles when she sees the way Lincoln looks at Octavia when she is not looking. He has been through a lot in his life and she is glad that it seems like he is happy at the moment.

**

Lincoln was 8 years old when he, Lexa and Anya met for the first time. Lincoln grew up in a foster home until Indra and Gustus, Lexa's and Anya's aunt and uncle, adopted him. He never knew his parents. His parents were really young when they got him and weren't able to take care of him so they gave him up for adoption. Lincoln was pretty shy when he first got there and he didn't speak to anyone. After a while he got comfortable around everyone in his new family. Since Lexa's parents and Indra and Gustus were pretty close, Anya and Lexa spent all the time at their place and the two of them and Lincoln became friends pretty fast. 

Lincoln has been in one relationship until now. This girl, Alie, took advantage of Lincoln anywhere she could, controlled everything about Lincoln and tried to change his point of view more than once, and since Lincoln is a pretty nice guy, he let it happen, until she slept with someone else. 

So Lexa really hopes that Octavia is nothing like Alie. It is obvious that Octavia likes Lincoln as well, but Lexa really hopes that Octavia will be serious about their relationship, which is certainly going to happen in the next few days.

**

The four of them get ready for their morning run and Anya just looks at the map one last time so they won't get lost. Then they leave camp.

They run for like 40 minutes until they take a break. Anya chose a route that leads around the mountain next to camp. The mountain, Mount Weather, is a pretty big mountain and it looks like it could survive a nuclear attack.  
They take a break drink some water and continue their way back to camp.

* * *

Clarke feels a little cold and cuddles herself closer in her sleeping bag. She smells something she is not used to when she wakes up. The smell of nature and fire gets her to finally open her eyes. 

At first Clarke has no idea where she is. It takes a while for her eyes to get used to the light that's shining through the tent. 

When she finally realizes where she is and that she really is awake, she turns around and is surprised to find Lexa's half of the tent empty, but then she remembers the morning run. She thinks it's still early, but since Lexa already left for her morning run, it can't be that early, so she gets up and leaves the tent.

The sun is already up, even though it is still cold outside, but it seems that the weather will be pretty good in the afternoon.

Clarke looks around and is surprised that no one is sitting next to the bonfire. Usually Clarke is the one that sleeps in and doesn't want to be woken up before then o'clock.

“Hey, you're up. That's good, I was just about to wake everyone. If you want to take a shower, I suppose you do this now, since in ten minutes I guess everyone wants to use the bathroom.” Luna, who apparently is already up, explains to Clarke while she searches through her bag to find a bottle of water. 

“Yes, I guess I could use a shower. Thanks. I'll be quick.” Clarke answers and hurries already back to her tent to get all of her stuff.

“Don't forget to turn the sign to OCCUPIED, so no one walks in. The lock will be fixed soon, until then we have to pay attention to the sign.” Luna reminds Clarke, and Clarke nods, while hurrying to the bathroom.

The bathroom is pretty small. There is a small sink with a small mirror and the shower. The shower is small to, and it would be pretty narrow, but for only Clarke it is enough.

She undresses and gets in the shower. Since she told Luna that she would be quick, she hurries so the next one can shower as well. Humming underneath the water, Clarke finishes her shower and grabs her towel. She raps it around her body and leaves the shower. She dries her hair a little with a second towel and watches herself in the mirror. 

Clarke has never been camping before. She has never even slept in a tent before and she doesn't really like it. Her parents prefer staying in a hotel room or to rent a summer cabin for a few weeks. They have always gone to warm places. Clarke has already seen a lot of different places. She has already be to Italy, South-Africa, Australia and to a lot more places. Since Clarke parents are really rich, with her mother being a surgeon and her father being an engineer, money has never been a problem for her.

Being caught in her thoughts, Clarke doesn't notice that the door opens and someone walks inside. When Clarke hears the door lock, she turns around with a horrified look in her face. Clarke has never been shy about her body, but she doesn't want anyone to see her like this.

What she sees, wasn't what she expected. Lexa is standing right in front of her all sweaty from her morning run and still in her work-out clothes.

Lexa notices Clarke at the exact same moment and almost jumps when she realizes what she just did.

“Oh god,... I'm so sorry... I thought the sign said it was free... I'm sorry” Lexa stutters, while turning bright red, and turns around abruptly and tries to leave as fast as she can. Lexa's feet are too fast for her brain and she just crashes in the wall right next to the door. 

“Ahh...Dammit!” Lexa curses and grabs the doorknob and leaves.

Clarke is still standing at the same spot and hasn't even moved an inch since the moment Lexa came in. Now she was juts staring at the door with a perplexed look in her eyes. She doesn't know what just happened. She is a little annoyed that Lexa walked in on her, but then she remembers what Lexa said... _I thought it said the room was free... __  
Dammit_ Clarke thinks. Lexa hasn't done anything wrong, Clarke just forgot to change the sign when she walked in. Now Lexa hit her head just because she forgot it. She decides that she has to apologize to Lexa, even though she still doesn't like the girl

She finishes in the bathroom, so the next one can get in.

* * *

Lexa, Anya, Octavia and Lincoln come back from their run. Lexa feels great. She always needs to run after a nightmare to clear her head and be ready for the day. 

Lexa is in pretty good shape, so she hasn't had a problem to keep up with the other three. Anya suggests that Lexa takes a shower first, since her hair will take the longest to dry. Lexa nods and hurries to get her stuff. 

She is surprised to see that Clarke isn't in her tent anymore, she thought the blonde was someone who likes to sleep in, but apparently she was wrong.  
She grabs her stuff and walks over. 

Lexa looks at the sign in front of the bathroom and it says FREE, so Lexa opens the door and gets in. She definitely wasn't prepared for what she sees next.

Clarke is standing right in front of her, wearing only a towel. Lexa's jaw literally drops. She hasn't seen anything like that before. Her hair is wet and Clarke has tossed it over her right shoulder, so her neck is all visible on the left side. Then Lexa's eyes wander towards Clarke's chest and since Clarke is only wearing a towel there is not much room for Lexa's imagination.

Lexa realizes what she is doing and immediately starts blushing and apologizing, “Oh god,... I'm so sorry... I thought the sign said it was free... I'm sorry”. Lexa feels like a complete idiot and Clarke is staring at her with an annoyed look in her eyes. 

She turns around as fast as she can and tries to rush out of the room, except she doesn't open the door, but rams her head against the wall. 

Immediately her head starts hurting, but Lexa is even more embarrassed than in pain right now. “Ahh...Dammit!” she curses and leaves the bathroom with her hand holding her forehead.

“What happened to you?”Anya asks when she sees Lexa running towards her tent. “Nothing, I'm fine...” is all Lexa answers. Anya knows Lexa better than that, and follows her. 

“Show me your head and tell me what happened! You seem upset and I want to help”Anya says a little louder this time. Lexa lets go of her forehead and shows it to Anya. She is bleeding. It is not a lot, but still.

“I'm going to get ointment for this, and when I'm back you're going to tell me what happened, understood?!” Anya gets up and leaves without even waiting for Lexa to reply.

It doesn't even take Anya two minutes to get back, and when she enter the tent she just says “Now talk!” and begins to put the ointment on Lexa's forehead.

Lexa is annoyed by Anya's motherly behavior and just wants to be left alone, and definitely doesn't want to talk about what just happened, so she tries again “It really is nothing. I just got in the bathroom because you told me to, and I thought the sign said FREE, but the bathroom was occupied, so I turned around and wanted to leave as fast as I could and hit my head. Nothing to worry about. Just me being clumsy.” Lexa hopes that Anya won't ask anymore questions, but quickly realizes that that is not going to happen.

“You are never clumsy! The Commander and clumsy? That's funny... so now tell me what really happened.” Anya rolls her eyes, because she knows Lexa serious and organized to be caught off guard this much by just entering an occupied bathroom. But then Lexa sees Anya smirking and her eyes tinkle, and Lexa knows that this isn't a good sign.

“Wait a second... who did you walk in on?” Anya asks smugly,”It was Clarke, wasn't it?”. Anya notices the way Lexa stiffens and knows that her assumption is right, “she is beautiful, isn't she?”

“Yes it was Clarke, but it's not the way you think. I walked in and there she stood in only her towel. You should have seen the look on her face when she saw me. She was so pissed. She already hated me before, and I just didn't want to make it worse, so I apologized and left as fast as I could. Well and the rest of the story you know already, well me colliding with the wall” Lexa explains a little embarrassed about what happened.

“Okay, this story is already more believable than you being clumsy, but are you sure you didn't just miss the door because you were so distracted by Clarke standing there in only her towel and looking incredibly beautiful?” Anya broaches the subject again.

“Well of course Clarke is beautiful, come on I have eyes, but it wasn't like that at all. I just don't want her to hate me anymore, because we have to spend the whole summer together and it is already awkward enough without me seeing her practically naked in front of me. I apologized yesterday, and I hoped that we could try to be friends, but now I'm sure she hates me even more. And with the way I left she probably thinks I'm the biggest loser alive.” Lexa rambles annoyed and looks at Anya. “I really tried to be nice, but it seems like the universe doesn't want us to be friends.”

“Clarke seems to be a nice girl, and I don't think she really will be mad at you, so just try to talk to her again during the day and then everything will be fine. Don't give up so fast. I'm sure you two could be friends. And by the way, you are a loser, so Clarke wouldn't have gotten that wrong” Anya says while hurrying to get up, because Lexa is already right behind her to punch her, but Lexa has a smile on her face again, so Anya thinks that it was worth it.

* * *

Lexa avoids Clarke as long as possible. Just before they leave to have lunch, Lexa is in their tent to grab her shoes, when Clarke comes in as well. Lexa looks at her and feels embarrassed once again.

To Lexa's surprise Clarke speaks first “I have to apologize to you. It wasn't your fault that you ran in on me getting changed, I forgot to change the sign to OCCUPIED, so you couldn't have known I was in there.”

“Well I could have check before I just barged in, so it is not only your fault.” Lexa reassures Clarke.

Clarke just nods, takes her shoes and leaves. Lexa notices that Clarke still doesn't like her, even though she know that the encounter this morning wasn't her fault. Lexa wants to change that. She really wants them to try and be nice to each other. They don't have to become best friends, but at least survive the summer on a friendly basis. 

They go to have lunch and Anya tells them what their plans for the afternoon are.

“So guys, the first competition is a canoeing competition. We will participate as a group, which means we can only win if we all give our best. In a canoe fit two people, which means that we go team per team. Luna and I already made a list with the order we will race. We all have to canoe around a few items and then go back to the starting point, change the teams fast, while trying not to fall in the water. So who of you knows how to canoe?” Anya looks around to see who could help them to win this competition. Lexa, Bellamy and Octavia say that they have already done it, but also say that it is pretty hard for someone who has never done it before an that it will be a hard challenge.

Octavia and Bellamy tell the group what they should do and how it's done. They also give them a few tips, like which side to paddle if they want to turn to the right or what they should do to go faster. Also Octavia tells them that they need to sit straight so that they won't lose balance and fall into the water. And Raven as funny as she thinks she is, can't keep this joke to herself and says, “I think that sitting straight will be a problem for me” while winking at Anya, “ And I'm pretty sure that I won't be the only one who is going to have this problem.”

Except Jasper no one is laughing and Anya just rolls her eyes at Raven's poor attempt to flirt with her. Anya thinks that it's cute that Raven wants to impose her and she definitely thinks that Raven is hot, but she would never admit that to the brunette.

Octavia and Bellamy explain some more about their challenge, and Lexa, who is still uncomfortable around her co-players, just stands next to her and nods from time to time when she agrees with something one of the Blake siblings mentioned.

They go down to the lake and Anya tells the the order they are going to participate. “Well I figured since Octavia, Bellamy and Lexa know how to canoe, the order will be Octavia and Raven first, then you guys” Anya says while pointing at Monty and Jasper, “then Lincoln and Bellamy so you can make up the time that our champs there lost, then me and Luna and finally Lexa and Clarke go last. I know that Lexa is a fighter and hates to lose so she will probably make up the time Lu and I lost as well. Any objections?” 

Everyone shakes their head, clearly okay with their orders except for Clarke. Lexa sees it and looks at her concerned. “Are you okay?” Lexa whispers that only Clarke could hear it. “Sure, whatever” Clarke answers a little harsh.

Clarke hasn't meant to be so harsh to Lexa, but she knows that she first of all is not good at any physical activity and second of all she hates water. She knows that they will be wearing swimming suits, but still she doesn't feel comfortable.  
Lexa looks a little take aback by Clarke sharp tone, but doesn't say anything. Clarke feels bad for the way she reacted, but she is afraid that Lexa will be mad at her when they don't win because of her. Anya already said that Lexa hates to lose, and when they lose because Clarke wasn't good enough, Lexa is probably going to kill her.

Camp-director Jaha quickly explains the course they have to follow, and tells everyone that it isn't allowed to kick someone else' canoe and looks at Jasper and Monty again. They pout at that, because it is clear that they already thought about that and now they have to find another way to beat the other group.

Everyone goes into place and Raven and Octavia climb already in the canoe. It looks really unsteady and Clarke frowns again. The start signal chimes and they are off.

It takes the some time to find the right technique and the right rhythm, but once they got it, they were pretty fast. They are far before the second place when they arrive at the starting point again, where Monty and Jasper are ready to jump in as soon as Raven and Octavia got out.

Since the canoe isn't really steady on the water, it is more complicated to change as they initially thought, but Monty and Jasper get in without falling in the water. Though it doesn't take them long until they are wet. Jasper thought it was a good idea to turn around to look at what Monty was doing and they both just fell in. It is really complicated to get back in again, but they somehow manage anyways. 

They are way slower than Raven and Octavia, but when they arrive at the starting point, they are still in third place, and not even that far away from the second group. 

Lincoln and Bellamy don't have a problem to get in and they get the hang of it pretty fast. They overtake both groups quickly, and even have enough time left to get some distance between them and the second group. 

Luna and Anya are not as bad as they thought the would be, and end up in second place together with Wells' and Murphy's group. 

Finally Lexa and Clarke are up. Lexa has no problem to get in the canoe, but Clarke is a little afraid that she is going to fall in the water. Lexa sees that and hold her hand up so Clarke can take it to get in. Clarke is grateful for that and takes her hand and gets in. It seems that Lexa and Clarke are a pretty good team, and they are really fast. It even seems as they would surpass Ontari's and Roan's team in first place, but then Clarke's makes a mistake and they get slower. Lexa surprised by what just happens tries to correct Clarke's mistake by paddling faster, but she just makes it worse. Their canoe begins to falter and suddenly they fall into the water. 

Lexa is pretty quick to get back in, but Clarke, clearly shaking, can't do it on her own. Lexa notices that Clarke is struggling and helps her to get in. They lose a lot of time because of this and Murphy's and Wells' team passes them. Lexa curses at herself for being so stupid and they continue to paddle. 

They arrive in third place and Lexa gets out of the canoe and is really annoyed. Raven and Octavia help Clarke to get out as well and they hand her a towel.

Nobody is really mad at them for coming in third place, except Lexa. Clarke notices that Lexa is mad, and she is annoyed, because she thinks that Lexa gives Clarke all the fault for their failure. Clarke made a mistake, but Lexa just made it worse, and technically it was Lexa's fault that they fell in the water. Clarke complains a little about her to Octavia and Raven, and then all of them go back to camp.

Lexa goes straight to her tent and changes into more comfortable clothes than her wet ones. Anya notices that Lexa is mad and follows her in her tent. 

“Heyy Little One, what's up with you? You know that no one is mad at you or Clarke for messing up right? And Clarke surly isn't the only one to blame, so you should definitely be nicer to her.” Anya says to Lexa in a angry tone.

“What? I don't blame Clarke! What makes you think that?” Lexa asks. Anya looks at Lexa with a questioning look in her eyes “You have been acting weird since you left the canoe. And you look at Clarke like you wanted to kill her.”

“Oh god, no. I'm not mad at her! I'm mad at myself. It was my fault we flipped over. She just slowed us down a little, but we still would have won if I hadn't messed up, so definitely not Clarke's fault. Does she think I blame her?” Lexa rambles.

“Oh okay, that makes sense. And yes I guess she thinks you blame her, so you should apologize to her.” Anya suggests to Lexa and Lexa sighs and shakes her head “I guess the universe really doesn't want Clarke and I to become friends.”

* * *

After everyone has taken a shower, there is still a little time left until they have to be at dinner, so Lexa thinks that this is the perfect time to talk to Clarke. She really wants to apologize and make clear to Clarke that she doesn't blame her in the slightest.

She just talked to Anya again and now leaves Anya's tent to go see Clarke in their tent. 

“Hi Clarke, good that you are still here, I need to talk to you” Lexa begins. Clarke looked already a little mad, but now Lexa can see that she is fuming. 

“What do you want to talk about Lexa? How badly I messed up and that all of it is my fault? Yes, I get it. You don't have to throw it in my face again, I know you are mad and you wanted to win, and I'm sorry I ruined it. And I'm sorry that you are stuck with me for the summer, I wish I could change it, believe me, but I can't.” Clarke is really mad right now and wants to continue, but Lexa cuts her off, and goes closer to Clarke. 

“Whoa, okay I knew that you were mad at me, but let's not go crazy. I definitely don't blame you Clarke” She looks at Clarke sincerely.”It was absolutely my fault that we didn't win. I wanted to go faster, even though I knew that you were going a little slower. I just wanted too much. And after the race I was mad, yes, but not at you. I was mad at myself. I am very competitive, but I would never blame someone else than myself for not winning. So you know that for the next games. Even if we had lost because of you, I wouldn't be mad. I'm not a horrible person. I know that you think I am, and I definitely don't blame you for that, because I was a bitch to you, but please give me a chance. I just want us to interact on a friendly basis, we don't have to become best friends, but I'm not a bad person.”

Clarke is taken aback by Lexa's speech. She would have never thought that Lexa was mad at herself and not at Clarke. She doesn't really know what to say and just looks at Lexa for a while. 

“Well, I'm sorry for assuming then. And maybe you weren't the only one who was acting like a bitch. I guess you are right and we should start over. So let's just forget about what happened and start from the beginning. Hi, I'm Clarke.” Clarke says while smiling a little at Lexa and holds out her hand to Lexa.

Lexa is happy that Clarke wants to give her another chance and takes Clarke hand smilingly. 

* * *

After dinner they go to the main area again as the night before and they drink some juice and talk to each other. Lexa thinks that this is a good moment to try and start a conversation with Clarke, so she goes over to Clarke who was just getting some juice and smiles at her. “Are you enjoying yourself?”

Clarke looks at Lexa and is surprised that the brunette really came up to her to talk to her, but she wants to become friends with Lexa and Clarke sees that Lexa really is trying. “Yes, it's nice here. I was just talking to Octavia and then Lincoln showed up, so I made up an excuse to leave them, so they could talk. I am surprised they haven't made out yet.” 

Lexa grimaces a little, but then she nods. “Yes I agree. They obviously like each other, but sorry I don't need to imagine my brother making out with anyone, that's just gross” Lexa chuckles a little.

Clarke, surprised by the sweet sound that just came out of Lexa's mouth, asks her, “Lincoln is your brother? I never would have guessed.”

“Well not biologically, but family isn't just the people who are related to you by blood. If we used the correct term, Lincoln would be my foster cousin. So I prefer to stick with brother, and I would do anything for him, so I guess brother fits.” Lexa explains. She seems to be a little more comfortable around Clarke since they called a truce, and Clarke appreciates that.

“I know what you mean. I'm not related to either Octavia, Raven or Bellamy and I still would do anything for them.” Clarke sees that Lexa wants this conversation to keep going, but it seems that she doesn't know what to say, so Clarke continues. “So what do you study, if I may ask. You seem like a though and organized person, so I'd say something like law or economics?” 

Lexa smiles at Clarke and shakes her head in disbelieve. “Law. And believe me I'm not as tough as I may look like. I would guess what you were studying, but I overheard you talking to Anya the other day and that would be cheating. So how do you like art?” 

Lexa sees that Clarke is smiling at her and she really likes that look on the blonde's face. “I love it. I have always loved to draw and paint. My father taught my some techniques when I was little and I just want to learn as much as I can about it, so that I can own a gallery someday in the future, that would be perfect.” Clarke looks in Lexa's eyes, sees that she is listening and continues. “With art you can express your feelings. It doesn't matter how other people see something, you can just draw it the way you see it. And of course there are always people who are not going to like your art, but that's okay, because even if there is only one person who likes my art, I'm grateful. If you take a picture for example, you can capture the moment and you may also see the people's emotions in it, but what do you know about the person who took the picture? Nothing at all. And when you paint something, you can bring yourself in, even though you're technically not a part of the picture.” 

Clarke realizes that she has been rambling about art for a while now and blushes at the thought that she got so carried away. “Sorry, I didn't mean to bore you with that, I just always get carried away when I start talking about art.”

“No Clarke, don't apologize. That was actually a pretty good speech, and I'm sure you are a wonderful artist.”Lexa smiles at Clarke. 

At the same time they hear Jaha speak up in a microphone and asking everyone to join him next to the big projector he set up for the evening. 

Everyone gathers around it and Jaha speaks up. “The first competition has been completed, but that wasn't all for today. We have one more game planned for you. This game can only be own by a team and not a whole group. I'm sure everyone knows about SingStar, right?” Some people are really happy to hear that and start already deciding which songs they are going to sing, and other people, like Lexa, just sigh and hope that not everyone has to sing.

“This game will be played in the teams, as I already said. So each team should choose a person who is going to perform the first song and then we we can start. If one team doesn't want to participate, that's fine too, but they will be ranked last. So I give all of you a few minutes to decide who is going to sing, and here is a list of songs you can chose from.” Jaha finishes and gives the list around.

Everyone is talking now and figuring out who wants to sing which song. Clarke looks over at Lexa to see what she wants to do and sees Lexa all pale in her face.

“I can't do that, Clarke. I'm sorry, I really can't. If you don't want to do it either, that's fine, but I really can't. I once tried to speak in front of this many people and I made a fool out of myself, so I definitely can't sing in front of all of them.” Lexa is horrified. 

“Heyy heyy, Lexa just breathe. I'm not mad that you don't want to sing. I made an idiot out of myself so many times I already lost count, so it doesn't matter if I do it once more. So no need to worry, I'll do it. Just hand me the list so I can choose a song.” Clarke tries to calm Lexa down. Clarke realizes that Lexa is way more fragile than she ever would have imagined. She just smiles at Lexa and takes the list Lexa hands her. 

It doesn't take long until the first two people start to sing. Lexa thinks that it is really fun to watch, but she is really glad that Clarke doesn't have a problem to do this so she doesn't have to. 

When Raven is up she sings with a boy from Ontari's group the song“Push-it by Salt and Pepa” which seems like a pretty sexual song and it irritates Lexa a little that Raven is looking at Anya from time to time and Anya doesn't even seem to be bothered by it. 

Clarke is the last one up to sing and since one of Wells' teams didn't want to participate, Jaha decided to let Wells sing with Clarke so she doesn't have to perform alone.

They choose “All Of Me by John Legend”. This was one of Lexa's favorite songs when she was with Costia. They always listens it together and then Costia told Lexa how much she loved her and she wanted to spend the rest of her life with her.

Clarke starts to sing and Lexa is left speechless. She didn't expect Clarke to be this good. She sings with so much emotion and even her performance with Wells seems real. 

All of a sudden it all becomes to much for Lexa and she just wants to leave. She turns around and starts to run towards their tents. Anya notices Lexa running away and she is right behind her to comfort her. Anya knows what this song means to Lexa. She had hoped that Lexa would be fine with it and finally let Costia go, but obviously that isn't the case.

Lexa knows that it will be a while until the others will be back, so she grabs her candles, lights them and sits down in front of her tent and begins to cry. When Anya sees Lexa sitting there so small and crying, she doesn't say anything, but just sits down beside her and holds her tight and lets Lexa cry fro as long as she needs to.

“I really miss her.”Lexa sobs. “I want her to come back to me. How could she leave me.” It hurts Anya to see Lexa like this, but Anya is happy that Lexa finally lets her emotions free. Anya hasn't seen Lexa cry once since the accident. It was like she just wanted to forget it, and now after such a long time, Lexa finally lets herself feel the pain. She cries for a while until she is too tired to keep crying. Anya really hopes that this is the beginning of Lexa trying to move on.

Anya is still holding Lexa when she suddenly hears something behind her. She turns her head and sees that Clarke is standing behind her. 

Clarke looks at Lexa with a sad look in her eyes. “Is everything okay? I saw you leave while I was singing and I just wanted to make sure you got here safe and were fine.”

Lexa is way to tired to answer and just wants to go in her tent and sleep, so Anya answers for her. “She will be fine. She just needs to sleep now. Would you mind staying with her? I have to go back to the group, and I wouldn't be comfortable with her being here all alone.”

“Yes sure. I'll stay with her, don't worry.” Clarke assures Anya, and already makes her way in their tent. Anya looks at them and sees that Clarke really wants to be there for Lexa, so she feels a little better, now that she has to leave.

Lexa lays down immediately and tugs herself in her sleeping bag. Clarke lays down beside her and looks at Lexa. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Clarke whispers, not really sure what she should do.

Lexa shakes her head and tells Clarke that she really just wants to sleep. So Clarke let's Lexa go to sleep. She doesn't feel ready just yet to go to sleep as well, in case Lexa wakes up and needs someone. She seemed upset before and Clarke just wants to help her, but after a while her eyes just close and she is off to sleep as well. 

**

Clarke wakes up in the middle of the night. She is disoriented and confused, and she just feels Lexa jerking violently beside her. Lexa is shaking and Clarke is concerned. She knows that Lexa said she was used to having nightmares, but Clarke never would have thought that she meant every night. She gently places her hand on Lexa's shoulder and starts shaking her a little. 

“Lexa, wake up, you're having a nightmare again.” Clarke shakes her a little more and finally Lexa wakes up. She is not as confused as she was the previous night when Clarke woke her, but she is still pretty out of it. Lexa is sweating and really pale, so that Clarke thinks she going to faint any time. 

Lexa's breathing slows down a little and Lexa lays back down next to Clarke. “Thank you for waking me, and I'm sorry that I woke you again.” Lexa whispers still a little in shock.

“Don't apologize for that. It isn't your fault that you're having nightmares. Is there anything I can do to make it easier?” Clarke asks earnestly. 

Lexa shakes her head sadly. “No, I've had nightmares everyday since it happened and after the nightmares there is nothing that can help me go back to sleep. I just feel so alone and then I'm way to scared to fall asleep again, not knowing what I will see once I close my eyes.” Lexa explains honestly.

Clarke sees the sadness in Lexa's eyes, and she doesn't want to make it worse fro the brunette, so she doesn't ask what her nightmares are about, but just looks at her.

“Go back to sleep Clarke. I'm fine.” Lexa says and even gives Clarke a little smile. Clarke is not sure if she should sleep, but she is so tired that she couldn't stay awake even if she wanted to.

Lexa watches Clarke fall back asleep and feels a little more comfortable than usually when she has nightmares, because she isn't alone at the moment. Even though Clarke is asleep, she is still right beside her and Clarke's body heat actually helps Lexa to relax, not enough to go back to sleep, but enough to breathe normally again.


	5. Paintball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go play paintball, and Clarke and Lexa get closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the ones that already read chapter 5, I just had to change a few things (nothing relevant for the story), so I had to update it again. Still I hope that everyone likes this chapter.  
> And thanks to every comment and kudos.  
> Love you all<3

#  Paintball 

A few days later...  
Clarke and Lexa seem to get along more. They talk to each other more often and it looks like they may even become friends.

Lexa still doesn't like to spend time with the other members of their group, but she has become really comfortable around Clarke. Clarke often tries to integrate Lexa in their group activities, but Lexa always declines and tells her that she prefers to be alone. 

Lexa has always been a person who prefers to be on her own. Lexa never had a lot of people she really could trust, so it takes her a long time to trust someone. And besides Anya, Lincoln,Indra Gustus and Costia she never really trusted anyone. Lexa never really had friends either. She had Costia and that was enough for her. But Costia isn't here anymore...

Lexa knows that she should take Clarke's offer and spend some more time with Clarke and her friends, but Lexa just isn't ready for that.

Clarke and Lexa are in ninth place in the competition at the moment. They still aren't a really good team, and since Lexa is pretty bad at communication, they have lost a few games, which they normally would have won. 

For today camp-director Jaha has organized a tournament of paintball. So everyone is getting ready for their afternoon. 

The first round will be played in groups, which means there will be four teams with ten people, because the supervisors will participate as well. Jaha explains the rules once again, “ Hello everyone. I hope everyone is ready to play a game of paintball. There will be two rounds. The first round is in groups. In the second round, not everyone will be playing, only the two best groups. And in this round you will play in your teams and the supervisors won't participate in this round. So about the first round: Everyone of you gets a gun, and you have to shoot your opponents. Arms and legs don't count, so aim to the back or the front of your opponent. If you are hit, you're out. You will all be wearing a body armor so it won't hurt too much. If you hit one of your own teammates, they are out as well, so be careful who you aim at.”

Every group starts to discuss their strategies, and it gets pretty loud. 

Anya calls the group together. “Well guys, I'm like 95% sure that we are going to win this round. Lexa, Lincoln, Luna and I have been doing paintball for a while now, and I would say that we are pretty decent at it. So I'd say our strategy will be: try not to shoot us. That goes mostly to Jasper and Monty, and well to Clarke as well, since you and sports doesn't really fit, so be careful guys.” 

Raven is right there to give Anya an answer. “Well I'm happy that you think that you are better than everyone, but I can say that Octavia, Bellamy, Clarke and I have been playing paintball for a while as well, so maybe you should be careful not to do anything stupid. I'm pretty sure I'm better than you anyways.” Raven adds with a smirk on her face.

“Yeah whatever” Anya shrugs and everyone goes back to talking to each other. Anya goes to Raven and whispers, “ Do you want to bet about who is better?”, while raising an eyebrow. “What do I get when I win?” Raven asks smugly. “When you win? I think you mean if you win! And you won't, don't worry. And about your prize, you can have whatever you want, because like I said, there is no way you're going to beat me.” Anya answers looking confident in front of Raven.

Raven just smirks and holds out her hand. “May the best woman win, and no cheating!” Anya takes her hand and nods.

**

“So you're good at this?” Clarke asks Lexa who is putting on her jacket and the vest they got. “Well I would prefer it if we could use a sword or a spear, but since Indra, my aunt, wanted us to be prepared for everything, she took us hunting a few times when we were little, so I'm good with guns as well. And like Anya said before, we played a lot of paintball when we were younger. The better question is, how come you are good at this? You don't do moving. And this requires a lot of movement.” Lexa raises her eyebrow and looks at Clarke sort of challenging her.

Clarke smiles at Lexa. “You're right, my stamina in running equals zero, but I've got a pretty good aim, so I don't need to move a lot.” Clarke smirks.

“Fine, let's see your skills. I'm planning on winning this competition, so give me your best” and Lexa even winks at Clarke when she turns around. Clarke just shakes her head and follows Lexa.

**

Anya was right, she was good at paintball. She already hit 3 people and the game wasn't even going for 5 minutes. Raven is at 2 and she prays that she will win the bet she has going with Anya, because she has the best idea what Anya has to do when she loses. 

As predicted, Jasper and Montyaren't good at this game, and they were the first ones out. Jasper hadn't even tried to shoot someone when he got hit, so he was a little frustrated.

Luna got hit by Bellamy who tried to shoot Echo, and then Echo shot Bellamy. Lexa is nowhere to be seen. She is quiet, and takes everyone out without making a sound. Octavia gets shot by Ontari, and not even a second later, Raven shoot Ontari. “ That happens when you shoot my best friend.” Ontari, clearly mad at Raven, just glares at Raven and leaves the field.  
Raven gets shot by Roan, because she was being too loud while talking to Ontari.

This leaves only four more players in the game:Roan, Anya, Lexa and Clarke.

Clarke finally sees Lexa. She looks really concentrated about what's going on in front of her, so that she doesn't realize that Roan is standing not to far away from her and has already seen her. Clarke notices that and runs towards Lexa. Roan is just about to shoot Lexa, when Clarke jumps on Lexa to get her out of the line of fire. This causes both of them to fall down, and even though Roan doesn't hit Lexa, he hits Clarke. He hits her on the shoulder, which means she is still in the game, but since their armor doesn't cover their shoulders, her shoulder hurts like hell. 

Before anyone has a chance to react, Anya, who has seen what just happened, shoots Roan right in his back, and then runs over to her sister and Clarke. “Are you okay girls.” She looks first at Lexa who nods and then at Clarke who holds her shoulder with a painful look in her eyes, but nevertheless nods. 

“What just happened?” Lexa asks, looking at Anya and Clarke. “Well this one here”, Anya motions at Clarke, “just saved your ass. Roan was standing right beside you, and if Clarke didn't push you to the ground he would definitely have shot you. So I would thank her.”

Lexa is a little shocked that Clarke would risk herself getting shot so Lexa wouldn't. “Thank you, Clarke” she says honestly, and Clarke is surprised that she finds herself blushing at that. Lexa helps Clarke get up and they go to join the rest of their team, who are happy to see that they won the first round of paintball.

Raven runs over to Anya to ask her how many she hit and Anya proudly answers six. Anya can see how Raven's eyes start to sparkle. “Oh my god, I won! I really won. I've got seven. Oh you are so going to regret betting with me, you'll see” Raven just runs over to Octavia and hugs her, even though O doesn't know what just happened.

Anya can't believe it. Raven really beat her. The girl is better than she thought. And even though she would never admit it to anyone, she thought that Raven being this happy and pleased with herself was pretty cute. 

**

Lexa grabs herself a bottle of water and wants to go sit down next to Anya, but then she sees Clarke who holds her shoulder, and decides that she should go sit next to Clarke. So she grabs a second bottle of water and makes her way to the blonde.

“How is your shoulder?” Lexa gives Clarke the bottle of water and sites down beside her. “It hurts, but I'll survive” Clarke smiles at Lexa, takes the bottle and drinks a sip. “I'm really grateful that you didn't let Roan shoot me. If it hurts too much, we don't have to play the second round. I know that I said that I really wanted to win this game, but it wouldn't be worth you getting hurt even more. So just tell me what you want to do, I'm sure I could find someone who could bring us back to camp if you wanted to go back.”

Clarke knows that Lexa is getting more comfortable around her and that she actually is a really nice person, but she nevertheless is surprise at Lexa's offer. Her shoulder really does hurt, but she wants to win just as much as Lexa does, so she shakes her head. “I'm fine Lexa, but thanks. We really need to win this, I can't take Raven telling me that she is better than me anymore. It is funny a few times, but I want to make her suffer a little too, so we have to win.”

Lexa is impressed by Clarke. She never would have thought that Clarke was such a fighter. They keep talking for a little longer until Raven and Octavia come over to talk to Clarke. Lexa wants to get up and leave them alone, when suddenly she feels a hand on her arm. Clarke looks at her, silently asking her to stay, but Lexa can't. She really wants to try and talk to them as well, but she doesn't know about what she would talk with Raven and Octavia. She looks apologetically at Clarke and gets up and makes her way over to Anya.

“Why did she leave?” Raven asks Clarke. “I guess she just wanted to talk to her sister.” Clarke shrugs.  
“I think she just doesn't like us and thinks that she is better than us and therefore doesn't want to talk to us. I thought she has changed a little since the beginning of camp, but I guess she still is a bitch” Octavia says.

Clarke shakes her head and looks at Octavia. “Don't talk about her like that. She is actually a better person than anyone could ever think, so please don't tell bullshit about her.” Clarke is getting more and more angry with Octavia. She has been saying these things about Lexa for a while now, and Clarke doesn't like it. She doesn't really know why she is so defensive over Lexa, but she somehow feels the need to defend her in front of her friends.

Before Octavia has the chance to ask Clarke why she is acting like this, Jaha calls them to start the second round. 

Since Roan was the last one who got shot, it will be Ontari and Roan's group against Luna and Anya's team. This round takes longer than the first round, because everyone is being way more careful now (well except for Jasper and Monty who are out almost the second the game starts). It is also pretty clear that one of Anya's teams is going to win, because they are way better than the others.

Clarke, Lexa, Raven, Octavia and Lincoln are the last ones in the game. Octavia isn't paying attention to her left where Lincoln is standing not far away from her. He sees her and takes the shot. Octavia jumps up, clearly surprised at being shot and looks around to find Lincoln giving her an apologetic look, but he is still smiling at her. Octavia is a little annoyed that she is out, but she sees Raven not far away from Lincoln. Raven is trying to get closer to Lincoln without him noticing her and Octavia is right behind her to help her, so she looks at Lincoln, smiles innocently at him and just shakes her head. Lincoln doesn't really understand what she means so he goes a little closer to Octavia, which gives Raven the perfect opportunity to move closer to Lincoln and shoot him. As soon as the paint hits Lincoln's vest, Octavia starts laughing. Lincoln is a little shocked that Octavia would do something like that, but he has to admit that it was pretty clever to distract him. And he is a little ashamed that he fell for it, but when he sees the way Octavia laughing, he thinks that it was so worth it.

Now there are only Raven, Lexa and Clarke left. And Lexa finally finds Clarke. She is really concentrated looking around to find Raven. Lexa moves closer to Clarke and when she is right behind her, she grabs Clarke and puts her hand on Clarke's mouth. It was pretty clear that Clarke would jump when Lexa touched her, because of how concentrated she was, so Lexa thought that it was a good idea to prevent her from screaming. 

“Hey, pshh... It's only me, sorry.” Lexa tries to calm Clarke. “I thought that it is maybe a good idea to work together. I even already got a plan. You're in?”

Clarke just nods and waits for Lexa's proposition.  
“So you see Raven over there? I am pretty sure she is the last one left, so if we get her, we'll win. She doesn't know that we will be working together, so we can use that. I will go to her right and you will go to her left. Then I will make some noises, so that she'll hear me. Then she probably will come after me and then shoot me, which is fine, because right then, when she is so distracted with shooting me, you go and shoot her, and we win.” She looks over at Clarke who is nodding.

“But can't we find a plan where you don't get shot?” Clarke asks with a frown on her forehead. “Victory stands on the back of sacrifice, Clarke. So let's do this.”

Lexa runs of, and starts making noises so that Raven sees her. As Lexa predicted, Raven follows her. Clarke follows Raven just as Lexa told her to, and then Raven lifts her gun to shoot at Lexa, but Clarke doesn't want Lexa to get shot, so she takes the shot early and hits Raven right in the back.

“Fuck, who was that...” Raven screams clearly mad and turns around to find Clarke standing there smirking at her. “You bitch. I thought we were friends. How could you get me? I'm way better at this than you are.” Raven glares at Clarke, but it is clear that she doesn't really hate Clarke at the moment, but she is just annoyed that she lost.

Right in that moment, Lexa comes up to them and smirks at Clarke, then looks Raven right in the eyes and says “Teamwork!” and winks at Raven.

“What!? You knew I was coming after you and was just about to shoot you? That's cheating!”Raven exclaims.

“Right, as if Octavia didn't help you to shoot Lincoln. I saw that. I was just too far away to shoot you right in that moment.” Clarke chuckles when she sees Raven rolling her eyes. “Yeah whatever...”

Clarke and Lexa laugh at Raven's annoyance and they all together go back to the group who is already waiting to find out who won.

“Sorry O, but Clarke shot me.” Raven goes to sit down next to Octavia. “But she cheated. She teamed up with Lexa and they both came after me and tricked me into following Lexa so that Clarke could kill me from behind. So definitely not a fair game, but yeah whatever.” Raven actually pouts at that and everybody starts to laugh.

Raven continues to complain a little more, and Lexa decides that she wants to talk to Clarke and makes her way over to the blonde.

“You didn't let Raven shoot me.” Lexa states and grabs a bottle of water. She sits down next to Clarke and looks at her.  
“No I didn't. You are a pretty good fighter, and if you got shot it would definitely not have been like this. You would have deserved so much better, so I figured that since I had the possibility to save you, I'd do it.” Clarke smiles at Lexa.”And by the way, thank you that you wanted to I quote “sacrifice yourself” for our victory. I really appreciate it.”

Lexa gives Clarke a sincere smile, and Clarke doesn't understand how she could ever hate this girl, when she looks this sweet and innocent.

“Anyways, how is your shoulder Clarke? Does it still hurt?” Lexa asks concerned.

Clarke laughs and shakes her head. “Yes, it hurts like hell. During the game I sort of forgot about it, because I really wanted to win and I didn't care that it hurt, but now, I feel all of it and it sucks.” Clarke sees that Lexa looks a little sad, and even a little ashamed. She realizes that Lexa thinks that it is her fault that Clarke got hurt and she blames herself for Clarke's pain. “No no no, don't do that Lexa. I know you well enough to know that you are blaming yourself right now, and you need to stop. I made that jump to save you, you didn't force me to so it and I didn't have to do it, so just stop, okay? It hurt, yes, but I can still move it and with a little ointment, I'm as good as new.” Clarke assures Lexa and nudges Lexa in her shoulder. This does calm Lexa a little even though she still thinks that she could have prevented Clarke's pain, if she had paid attention to Roan.

Jaha calls everyone to get ready to leave and gives them some information for their next competition. “So guys, for today there are no more games planned. You can have a little fun in camp on your own. Don't do anything stupid. And I won't be in camp this evening, so I'm telling you now already, that your going to need your swim suits for tomorrow. It'll be some sort of a swimming competition in the lake, so be prepared.”

Everybody starts to talk all over the place and it gets really loud. Most of the people seem to be really excited for the following day. Lexa looks over at Clarke and wants to tell her that she is a really good swimmer,and she is looking forward to tomorrow, but what she finds is definitely not what she expected to see when she turns around. Clarke is standing there all pale in her face and has a mortified look in her eyes.

“You okay over there?” Lexa asks a little unsure of what she should do. Clarke just nods her head and follows Anya and Luna who already began to go back to camp. 

Lexa is a little surprised at Clarke's reaction, but she thinks that maybe Clarke is just tired and wants to lay down for a while. 

When they arrive back in camp, Clarke is still as pale as she was just a while ago, and Lexa really starts to worry about Clarke, so she goes over to Clarke and asks her again if everything is okay. And again Clarke just nods, but Lexa knows that something is off. Clarke looks around to see if anyone was looking at her and when she thinks she is in the clear, she makes her way into the forest. Lexa doesn't want Clarke to get lost, so she follows her. She realizes that Clarke probably wants to be alone, so she leaves a little space between them. Just enough so she can still keep an eye on her.

After a while Clarke sits down on a bench and Lexa hears that Clarke is crying. She doesn't know what happened and why Clarke is crying, and it hurts her to see Clarke this way. She doesn't realize that she is standing just in front of a rock, and when she moves to get more comfortable, she falls over this rock and curses loud enough for Clarke to hear her. Clarke jumps up, fast she whips her tears away and looks at Lexa.

“What the hell are you doing here? Did you follow me?” Clarke seems mad at Lexa. “I'm so sorry. Yes I was following you. You seemed upset, and then I saw you running of in the forest, and I just wanted to make sure you didn't get lost. I wasn't spying on you, I'm sorry.” Lexa tries to assure Clarke, but she is a little ashamed of herself that she thought it was a good idea to follow Clarke when she clearly wanted to be alone.

Clarke sighs and sits back down. She shakes her head and Lexa sees a tear falling from Clarke's eyes.

“I can't swim, okay? You're going to see that tomorrow anyway, so I can just tell you now. I know that it's embarrassing. I know that I am an eighteen year old girl, who is too stupid to swim, so go on and laugh” Clarke sobs and starts crying even more. “Tomorrow everyone is going to make fun of me. I hate it, but I have always been scared of deep waters, and that's what I get now.”

Lexa's heart breaks a little, when she realizes why Clarke was so pale before. She moves fast to sit next to Clarke on the bench and hugs her without saying a word. Clarke's sobbing decreases, and she holds Lexa thigh as well. Clarke doesn't understand how just holding Lexa like this can calm her down this fast, but at the moment she doesn't want to think about that and just appreciates Lexa's presence.

“Let's go get our swim suits. I know a place where we won't be disturbed.” Lexa let's go of Clarke and gets up. She holds a hand out to Clarke, who takes it and follows Lexa.

“What are you talking about Lexa?” Clarke frowns. “You don't know how to swim, I am a pretty great swimmer, so I'm going to teach you. I'm sure you'll get the hang of it really quickly.” Lexa replies. 

Clarke stops walking and looks at Lexa. “Why are you doing this? You don't have to help me.”

“I know, but I want to. You saved me two times today, now it's my turn. So hurry up and let's go put on our swim suits.” Lexa continues walking and this time Clarke follows.

 

It doesn't take them long to put on their swim suits and get to the lake. Lexa found this place one morning during their morning run and thought that this was discrete enough so that no one will be walking around here and disturb them.

She looks at Clarke who is looking at the lake as if thinking that this was a bad idea. “You're going to be fine, I promise” Lexa smiles at Clarke. Clarke thinks that it is pretty sweet of Lexa to do this for her, but she still doesn't feel comfortable with going in the water.

“So let's start. Takeoff your clothes and then we'll be going in.” Lexa says and Clarke, who is terrified at the moment still raises an eyebrow and smirks at Lexa. “You could have just told me that you wanted me to get rid of my clothes. I didn't know you played for the other team, but yeah, fine with me.” Clarke winks at Lexa, who is blushing like crazy. She rolls her eyes and looks Clarke right in the eyes and says: “Believe me, if I wanted to get you out of your clothes for that reason, you would know. And yes, I play for the “other” team as you said, but don't worry I'm not looking for anything right now, so you're safe.”

Clarke is a little taken aback by Lexa's confession, because she initially meant it as a joke, but her stomach does crazy things now that she knows that Lexa is gay. Clarke never once in her life thought about herself not being straight. She has had her fair share of boyfriends and was most of the time happy in her relationships, well except for the one with Finn. But now that Lexa mentioned she likes girls, Clarke is somehow sad that Lexa told her not to worry because she is not going to flirt with her. Clarke definitely would not have had a problem with a little flirting, when it came from such a beautiful girl as Lexa.

“So are you ready to do this?” This brings Clarke back to reality only to find Lexa standing in front of her in only her bikini. Clarke definitely wasn't prepared fro this. Her jaw literally drops and she feels herself blushing hard. Lexa is perfectly toned and her bikini fits her beautifully. Clarke's eyes dart towards Lexa's stomach and she is surprised that she is still able to keep standing. Lexa has perfect abs. Clarke has never seen such a perfectly formed stomach as Lexa's and she is in awe. Lexa seems to notice this and raises an eyebrow. “See something you like, princess?”

_Princess? Where did that suddenly come from?_ Clarke can't keep a straight face and she is a little embarrassed that she got caught staring at Lexa's abs. “Well you are clearly beautiful, but we are not here so you can show of your abs, so let's get in the water.” Now it is Lexa's turn to blush. It has been a long time since anyone except from Anya and Lincoln has called her beautiful. Clarke takes of her clothes pretty fast, and goes in the water. She doesn't go in too deep, so she can still stand in it. 

Now Lexa is the one looking after Clarke. Clarke is wearing a blue bikini which fits her perfectly and Lexa can't keep her eyes off of Clarke's chest. She finds herself staring and just shakes her head and follows Clarke in the lake, clearly needing to cool off a little.

“So I'm going to show you how it's done, and then you will try, okay?” Clarke doesn't seem to be happy with this, but she nods anyways. She watches Lexa swim, ans is pretty impressed, because as Lexa said, she is a really good swimmer. When Lexa gets back to Clarke, she puts her feet back on the ground and shakes her head so that her curls are not bothering her sight anymore. 

“It is really not that difficult. You'll see, you'll get the hang of it really fast. Now you'll have to lay yourself on the water and then you move your arms and legs just the way I showed you. I will be holding you the whole time, and the water isn't that deep here, so if it's to much you can just stop and stand up, okay?” 

Clarke is still a little scared, but she doesn't want to show that to Lexa. Lexa puts her hands under Clarke's stomach so that Clarke can lay down on them. When she finally lies on Lexa's hands, she begins to move the way Lexa showed her, but as soon as she moves, she panics that she will fall and stands up quickly. 

“Oh god, sorry, I just panicked a little. Can we try again.”Lexa just smiles at Clarke and nods. They keep doing that for a while until Clarke gets a little more comfortable in the water, and then she even tries a few times on her own. After almost two hours, it seems like Clarke can stay afloat pretty good, so Lexa just guides them more and more out of the lake, in the deeper waters. Clarke doesn't notice, because she is just trying to keep up with Lexa, and she is pretty proud of herself that she has managed to swim this far. Them Lexa stops, and Clarke wants to stop too and put her feet on the ground, only to find that her feet can't reach the ground anymore. She panics a little, but Lexa is there right away and holds Clarke.

“Hey hey, you're fine, just breathe. You were doing so great that I though we should go in the deeper waters, I'm sorry, I should have told you.” Lexa holds Clarke tight and keeps kicking with her legs to keep them both over water.

Clarke nods and feels a little better, and starts kicking herself again, but she doesn't let go of Lexa's hand. They stay there for a while and then they keep swimming some more. Clarke is really happy that she doesn't need Lexa's help anymore, and even swims a little away from Lexa. Lexa let's her, but never takes her eyes off of Clarke, in case this one would need her help.

It's starting to get darker outside, so the two girls think that it's best for them to go back to camp, so they take their clothes and make their way back. 

“Thank you, Lexa. I'm really grateful for your help today. Maybe now I won't make a total fool out of myself when we have to swim tomorrow.” Clarke smiles at Lexa. “You're welcome. And if anyone is going to laugh at you tomorrow, just tell me and I'll kick their asses, I promise.” Lexa looks at Clarke and Clarke can see that she really means it. Clarke is flustered that Lexa would really do that for her. She is impressed by this girl in any way possible. She never would have thought at the beginning of camp, that she would like Lexa only two weeks in, and now they even seem to be friends. 

* * *

Raven makes her way over to Anya, who is sitting in front of her tent. “Hey there HotStuff. What are you doing?” Anya looks up at Raven. “Just waiting for my sister to get back from wherever she is at the moment.”

“Nice, want some company?” Raven asks and doesn't even wait for Anya's reply to sit down. “ So as long as we wait, you can start telling me something about you. I want to get to know you.”

“And why the hell would I do that. I told you already, I'm not interested Raven, and you are way to young for me, so please just leave me alone.” Anya looks a little annoyed at Raven. It is not that Anya doesn't think that Raven is beautiful, but she doesn't want to make Raven any hope, because Raven is way to young for her. She has to admit to herself that there is something about Raven that fascinates her, but she would never admit that to Raven. This girl is already confident enough.

“Well you lost a bet, and you said you'd do anything I said, and I want you to give me a chance. I am a pretty decent person, I am smart too, and look at me, I'm most definitely a catch, so just get over the fact that you are older, and only five years I want to add, and get to know me.” Raven says.

Anya thought that Raven's punishment was going to be something to embarrass Anya, she never would have thought that Raven really wanted to get to know her, so maybe Raven is more mature than she initially thought, Maybe she could give her a chance. It is not like Raven is a kid. She is almost 19 and she definitely is Anya's type.

**

“Fine, sit down and shoot.” Anya rolls her eyes, but she is impressed but the brunette. They talk for a while, and Anya notices that she really likes Raven. They don't even realize how late it is getting until they see Lexa and Clarke coming out of the forest in only their bikinis. 

Anya looks at Lexa and quirks an eyebrow. Lexa glares at her as if to tell Anya not to say a word. Then all four of them look over to Bellamy and Lincoln's tent and see Octavia sitting in Lincoln's lap and making out with him. Lexa and Anya seem a little displeased with this, but Raven and Clarke just laugh and say “Finally”.

Then everybody gets ready for dinner.

* * *

After dinner there is nothing more planned and since everyone is pretty tired, they decide to go back to their tents and sleep early today. 

Lexa and Clarke get comfortable and it doesn't take both of them long to fall asleep. 

Lexa has a nightmare, as every night. The previous nights Clarke always tried to talk Lexa into going back to sleep, but it never worked. So Clarke wakes Lexa up again and gives her some time to calm herself down. Then as she lays back down, Clarke does the only thing she thinks that may help Lexa to fall back asleep. She turns around and cuddles into her. She holds Lexa tight. She feels Lexa stiffen in front of her. “What are you doing, Clarke?”

“You told me that you can't go back to sleep after a nightmare because you feel as if you are all alone and then the nightmares continue. I wanna show you that you are not alone. I'm here for you. So just go back to sleep.” Clarke cuddles even closer to Lexa if that is even possible.

Lexa feels herself relax in Clarke's body, and after a while she hear Clarke snoring a little next to her ear. She finds it really soothing, and after some time, Lexa finally is able to go back to sleep and doesn't have any nightmares that night.


	6. You Can Do It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Swimming competition, and Clarke and Raven talk about girls.

# You Can Do It

  
Anya wakes up in the morning, ready to go wake Lincoln, Octavia and Lexa for their morning run. As always she goes first to Lexa's tent to get her little sister. Lexa has always already been awake when Anya opened their tent, so she doesn't expect to find Lexa still sound asleep.

What Anya sees when she opens Lexa's tent however, leaves her speechless. Lexa is sound asleep. Not even is she only asleep, but she is also curled up in Clarke. Lexa and Clarke must have moved during the night, because they laying differently than when they fell asleep. 

Clarke is laying on her back, snoring slightly. Lexa is laying almost on top of Clarke. Lexa's head lies on Clarke's chest and Lexa's right hand is placed on Clarke's stomach. They look as they have slept together their whole lives. They seem comfortable like this and both of them seem really happy and relaxed in that moment. They must have gotten warm during the night, because their sleeping bags are at their feed and they are just completely tangled up in one another. 

Clarke's arm is around Lexa's waist and it looks like she has a firm grip on Lexa's waist, as if to not let her go. To Anya it looks like Clarke is trying to protect Lexa from whatever is haunting her right now. 

Anya is amazed to see Lexa finally sleeping. She looks closer at them and is surprised by how cute they actually look together. Anya had never seen Lexa comfortable enough with anyone but Costia to let them hold her like this. Sometimes Lexa doesn't even let Anya hug her, so she is surprised by how fast Clarke got Lexa to trust her. 

As good of a sister as Anya is, she quickly grabs her phone and takes some pictures of the two girls. Now if Lexa tries to deny how cute they looked together, Anya has proof to show her, and maybe she is planning on making some fun of her later (well it is after all her job as a big sister).

She really is happy that Lexa finally is able to sleep longer than four hours a night and decides that she should let Lexa sleep as long as she can. Everyone deserves a good amount of sleep once in a while, and Lexa is in definite need of some.

Anya closes the tent and goes on to wake Lincoln and Octavia.

When Lincoln and Octavia are awake and getting ready for their morning run, Anya goes back to her tent to go grab her sneakers. Luna is awake and sitting in their tent. “Good morning Lu, I hope I didn't wake you when I got up?” Anya looks apologetically at Luna.

“No,no, you didn't. I just couldn't sleep anymore, that's all. So is everyone ready for the run?” Luna asks. Luna ran a few times with Anya, Lincoln and Lexa, when she and Anya were still dating. She mostly did it to spend some more time with Anya, so after they broke up, that was one thing she definitely didn't miss.

Anya chuckles and shakes her head. “You will never believe what I saw this morning.” Luna looks at her clueless.”Lexa was asleep this morning.” At this Luna really is baffled. She knows how much Lexa struggles to sleep, and she also knows that Lexa is always awake in the mornings, so she doesn't really believe what she just heard. “Wow, that's really good. I am so happy for her, but why now? What changed?” Luna asks with wide eyes, still doubtful.

“Well she was actually snuggling with Clarke to be precise. I even took a picture, look at it.” Anya hands Luna her phone and smiles at her, really happy for her sister.

“No way... I am so happy for her. She really does deserve a little more happiness in her life after what happened.” Even though Luna and Anya broke up a while ago, they are still best friends and they genuinely care for each other. They were best friends before they started to date and then they fell in love with each other and dated for over two years until both of them realized that it just wasn't working anymore and that they weren't happy with their situation. They decided to stay friends afterwards, which was difficult at the beginning, but after a while they just went back to being best friends. And now they are even at a place where they can talk about crushes with each other and stuff. They both are happy with how it is now, and they wouldn't change a thing.

Anya smiles back at Luna, gives her a quick hug and makes her way to Lincoln and Octavia who are already waiting for her to arrive so that they could start.

* * *

Almost an hour later, Lexa slowly wakes up, because the sun is shining through the tent and is way too bright for her liking this early in the morning. Lexa feels something warm next to her and cuddles closer to this source of heat. Feeling really comfortable, she suddenly feels something moving beneath her and she hears someone chuckling. Then she realizes where she is and what the warm thing underneath her actually is. She jolts up as fast as she can and looks down at Clarke with an horrified expression. She totally forgot that Clarke cuddled her before she felt asleep the second time that night. Somehow in the night the must have change positions, and Clarke laid almost totally underneath Lexa. 

Clarke just looks up and Lexa, still smiling. “I didn't know that you are a cuddler, but anyways, I hope you slept alright. I'm really glad that you managed to go back to sleep somehow.” Clarke looks genuinely happy for Lexa, and Lexa calms herself down a little. Lexa definitely isn't a cuddler. She doesn't like it when people touch her at all. Well except Anya and Lincoln, but they are her siblings. It took her a while to get comfortable with Costia touching her and they didn't cuddle for very long, because Lexa just didn't like it.  
And Clarke just did it. She just put her arms around her and held her. She didn't give Lexa a chance to back out, and without even knowing it, this was exactly what Lexa needed. She actually liked having Clarke this close to her, even though she would never admit that to anyone, especially not Anya.

Clarke chuckles again, which brings Lexa back to reality. “I did sleep well, Thank you for helping, I guess.” Lexa is blushing and continues. “And sorry for the whole cuddling thing. I'm usually not this persistent.” and now Lexa is as red as a tomato and it looks she is going to burst anytime soon.

Clarke laughs again and shakes her head. “Don't worry about that, I'm used to sleeping next to Raven and believe she is way worse in bed than you.” and now Clarke is blushing, because she definitely didn't want to say it like this. When Clarke woke up, she quickly realized that Lexa was lying really close to her and Clarke thought that it felt really good. She doesn't know where these feelings for Lexa suddenly came from, and what they even mean, but she knows that she likes having Lexa this close to her. She was happy to see that Lexa was asleep and Lexa looked so peaceful, that Clarke didn't want to wake her, so she just laid there for some time, while looking at Lexa.

“How long have you been awake and lying there anyway? You could have just woken me up.” Lexa tells Clarke. “Not for too long. I thought about waking you, but you looked just so peaceful that I couldn't do it. But it didn't bother me, so don't worry.” Clarke thinks that she could get used to falling asleep with Lexa in her arms.

“Well, thank you, Clarke. I really needed a good night of sleep. I haven't felt this good for a while now.” Lexa explains honestly. “Anytime” is all Clarke answers. “Do you know how late it is? I think Anya forgot to wake me for our morning run.” Lexa frowns.

“She probably saw you sleeping and thought that you could use it and let you sleep. We should probably hurry and get ready for breakfast.” Clarke guesses and both of them make their way out of the tent.

They get out of their tent and right in that moment, Anya, Octavia and Lincoln come back from their morning run. Anya looks over at Lexa standing next to Clarke and smirks. She motions to Lexa that she should come to her tent, because she wants to talk to Lexa. Lexa already knows what it's going to be about, but she wants to get it over with, so she follows Anya.

“So Little One, how did you sleep?” Anya asks while grabbing a bottle of water. Lexa knows that Anya will make fun of her anyway, so she thinks that it would probably be best to just tell her the truth.

“I actually slept really good. I hadn't slept this well in a while now, and I'm glad that I finally did, because I actually feel really good, and I'm definitely ready for today's challenge.” Lexa smiles happily and looks at Anya. “The only question I have is, why didn't you wake me this morning. I would have loved to join you on your morning run.”

“Come on Lexa, you can't fool me. You were lying in the arms of a pretty blonde, and you wanted me to ruin that for you? I know that you think that you will never be able to be happy again after Costia, but I'm sure that she would want you to move on and start to live your life. And maybe you are more ready than you think you are. I know that you like Clarke, I can see it in your eyes when you look at her, and I don't think that you should go and jump her bones, but maybe you could let yourself feel around her, and let yourself be happy. I really just want you to be happy again. I know how much losing Costia hurt you, but you should stop blaming yourself for it and move on.” Anya is prepared for Lexa to get angry at her again, and tell her that she doesn't deserve to be happy again, but instead she just sees Lexa crying and moving closer to her. Lexa hugs Anya and sobs in her arms. 

“I love you Anya. I know that it hasn't been easy for you as well, because I'm not the only one who lost someone that night. I also know that I made it just harder for you, and maybe you are right and I'm ready to give life another chance, and maybe at some point in my life I can be happy again. I'm really thankful that you are my sister Anya and I really love you” Lexa holds Anya even closer to herself and now Anya is crying as well.

“I love you too, Lex. And you're right, the two last years have been hard for all of us, but I can see that it is getting better, and I know that you needed the time. I would do everything again if it meant that you could move on.” They keep hugging for a while and when Anya thinks that Lexa is ready to go eat breakfast, they get ready and join the rest.

* * *

Clarke sees Lexa and Anya arriving at their table and notices that Lexa has been crying. Clarke doesn't know why, but she just wants to go over to Lexa and hug her. She really doesn't understand why she is thinking about Lexa all the time. It confuses her. She has always been attracted to boys, so ti doesn't make sense that she suddenly has these feelings about Lexa. Of course she thinks that Lexa is gorgeous and really smart, but it's not just that. She wants to hold her and take away all the pain, Lexa clearly is in, but she knows that it isn't her place to do anything about it. She decides that she need to talk to Raven later on, and ask her how she knew that she was bi.

Lexa sits down and Clarke looks at her worriedly, and Lexa just smiles at her as if to tell her that she is fine.

They eat breakfast and then they all go back to their tents to get ready. Clarke thinks that now is the best time to talk to Raven and goes over to her tent. “Hey Rea, do you have a minute? I have to talk to you.”

“Sure, anything to away from these two sucking faces all the time. It's getting disgusting guys, you should do it at Lincoln's tent for a change.” Raven motions to Octavia and Lincoln who haven't even noticed that Clarke is standing in the tent as well.

They make their way over to a bench next to the lake and Raven asks Clarke what she wants to talk about.

“I actually just wanted to ask you how you knew that you were attracted to girls as well.” Clarke blushes a little and doesn't dare to look in Raven's direction. 

“Whoa girl, why do you want to know that? You know that if you want to experiment a little, you just have to ask, I'm right at you service.” Raven smirks and winks at Clarke. 

“Uh Rea, that's disgusting, you're like my sister, and on second thought just forgot I ever asked you that I'll just figure it out myself.” Clarke gets up, ready to leave, when Raven grabs Clarke hand and motions to Clarke to sit back down.

“Right, I'm sorry Clarke. I didn't think that you seriously wanted to know about my coming out story. I'll tell you everything you want to know, but then you have to tell me why you suddenly interested in it, OK?” Raven moves closer to Clarke and puts her arm around Clarke's shoulder. She sees that Clarke is struggling with something, but she can't help her if she doesn't know what it is. Clarke nods and Raven begins.

“I never really understood why girls couldn't be with girls and boys couldn't be with boys when I was a kid, and my mother just told me that a girl and a boy is how it is meant to be. She was my mother so I believed her and I didn't think about it for a while, but then when I was thirteen, I met this girl. She was beautiful and I liked everything about her. You probably remember her, her name was Alex, she went to school with us.” Raven pauses and looks at Clarke who nods. “I didn't understand how I could like her this much, because, you know, girls don't have feelings for other girls. As you already know, I never was shy, not even at thirteen, so one day I just followed her in the bathroom and told her that I liked her and then I kissed her. She was a little shocked and then she ran out on me. She didn't talk to me for almost a year after that. It hurt at first, but after all I'm glad that it happened. I had already kissed Finn before that and with Alex it felt even better. I now I couldn't deny it anymore, and I also knew that if anyone didn't agree with me liking girls as well, that I wouldn't care, because something that felt this good and this right couldn't be wrong. And this is when I told you guys.” Raven finishes and the two of them sit there in silence for a while.

“Do you think that it is possible to be straight, and still like one girl in particular?” Clarke asks in almost just a whisper.

“I don't know, but why does it matter if it's just one girl or a bunch of girl? If you like someone you should go for it. Life is way to short to question everything. I can see that you are struggling, Clarke, I just don't understand why.”

“I have never even thought about me not being straight, and now I just can't stop thinking about her and it's driving me crazy. And the problem is that I don't just wanna have sex with her, that I would understand, I'm in constant need to get laid, but I just want to see her smile and be happy. I just want to make her laugh and make her forget the struggles she's in and it drives me mad when I can't help ease her pain. And this is what makes me really scared, because I think I really like her. I just don't understand it, because I can't be gay. I have always liked boys and I was happy in my relationships, so it doesn't make sense.” Clarke is getting really frustrated.

“You do know that it isn't just black and white Clarke, right? You can like both, boys and girls and there is nothing wrong with that. Look at me, I consider myself a bisexual as well, even though I mostly have relationships with girls. And just because you have always been with boys doesn't mean it will stay that way. The way you talk about Lexa...we are talking about Lexa, right?”Raven looks at Clarke who is blushing like crazy, but Clarke nods. “So the way you talk about Lexa tells me that you really like her, and that means your feelings are real, and that you should try and explore them. I'm not telling you to go up to her and just kiss her like I did with Alex, but maybe you could talk to her and figure out if she even is gay” Raven rubs Clarke's back, because she can feel that Clarke is still tense, and Raven wants to show her that everything is alright.

Clarke hugs Raven and they stay like this for a while until Clarke is feeling ready to face the rest of their group again.

* * *

Octavia, Anya and Lexa are sitting together and Anya and Lexa keep glancing over at Raven and Clarke and both of them frown when they see the both of them hug. They look so intimate in that moment that Anya and Lexa can't help but feel a little jealous. They both still don't like to admit that they like the to girls sitting not too far away from them, but it is pretty clear that they do.

Lexa and Anya almost forgot that Octavia was sitting there with them as well until she speaks up. “You know that she likes you, right?” This gets both Anya's and Lexa's interest and they look at Octavia. “Raven can't stop talking about you. If she likes someone she is all in, and it is pretty clear that she in fact likes you. And by the way you are just killing Clarke with your eyes for hugging Raven, I'd say that you like her too. And by the way, you don't need to be jealous at Clarke, because first of all Clarke is not gay, and second she and Raven are like sisters. They both have been through a lot and that helps them to bond.” Anya nods and looks over at Lexa who just looks at her hands and also nods sadly. 

Anya wants to tell Lexa that this doesn't mean anything and that she shouldn't lose hope, but right in that moment Luna comes over to them and tells them that it's time to go down to the lake.

 

Lexa senses that Clarke is nervous for their upcoming competition, and goes over to her, to calm her down a little. “Hey, are you okay?” Lexa asks and puts a hand on Clarke's shoulder. Clarke blushes when she sees Raven looking over at them, but she just nods at Lexa. Lexa can see right through Clarke and knows that she is freaking out right now.

“You're going to be fine, Clarke. I promise you. I know that you are not the best swimmer and that you just learn how to swim yesterday, but I am a hundred percent sure that you can do it. I believe in you. Now you just have to believe in yourself. And if that still isn't enough for you to feel better, I can promise you that if I see you struggling in the slightest, I'm going to jump in and come and get you. I'm pretty sure that the life guard will be there before me, but I will come anyways, okay? So don't worry, everything will be just fine.” Lexa looks around and sees that no one is looking over at them and she moves even closer to Clarke and rubs her back.

Clarke doesn't know what she should think right now. She is terrified to go in the lake and swim, but at the same time Lexa is standing right next to her and the hand on her back is actually kind of distracting her from her fear. She is also touched that Lexa offered to save Clarke herself, and she can't stop herself to think that maybe there is the slightest chance that Lexa likes her as well.

Jaha comes closer to the groups and starts, as always, to explain the game. It is a rather easy game. They will be swimming in the groups, including the supervisors. They all have to swim the same path: 100m straight forward, around the buoy and 100m back to their team. Then the next one does the same thing.

As Lexa already mentioned, there are a few rescue boats around their area, and the life guards will pay attention, so that if anyone has a problem they will be there as fast as possible.  
Seeing the life guards does actually help the calm Clarke down a little. 

Lexa told Anya that Clarke is not really comfortable at swimming, so that she could tell the life guards to keep an eye on Clarke, just in case she gets tired, even though Lexa is convinced that Clarke is going to be perfectly fine. 

Anya comes closer to the group, so that the other groups won't hear what she says. “Luna and I have talked to each of you about your swimming skills already, and based on those, we created the order. We wanted at least two strong swimmers to begin and thought that Lincoln and Raven should begin. Since most of are group considered themselves good swimmers, we thought that Lexa should go in third place, followed by Octavia and then Bellamy. Then Jasper will swim, because he considered himself not a good swimmer, followed by me. Then Clarke who told me she would probably survive it, but be really slow, so we thought that we should place our best swimmer Monty, who did swimming as a sport for a while, right behind Clarke. And then Luna will finish the race. Anyone problems with that.”  
They don't even seem to listen anymore as they start talking to each other again. 

Lexa takes Clarke and wants to talk to her and Anya together. “Is it possible that Clarke and I change places? I think it would be wiser to do it like that.” Clarke looks shocked, because that only means that she has to swim even earlier. “Yeah sure, like I said it was just an idea anyways, just tell the others and we're good.” Anya replies and goes to talk to Raven.

“What are you doing, Lexa? I don't want to swim ever earlier!” Clarke is a little mad at Lexa for doing this to her and doesn't understand why she does this.  
“I don't to this to punish you or anything, but I know that it is better if you swim as soon as possible, so that you don't get a chance to make yourself even more nervous.” Clarke doesn't really seem to be buying it, and just frowns. “Well I didn't just do it for you, I also did it for me. I know that my head won't be in the game when you haven't swum yet. I would only be thinking about how nervous you are, not that you have to be, because you are so gonna do this, but because you are too self conscious about this. So I would appreciate it if you did this for me.” Lexa explains to Clarke. 

Clarke doesn't understand why Lexa is worrying so much about her. She didn't even understand why Lexa helped her yesterday, but this just confuses her more, so she just asks Lexa. “Why?”

“What do you mean, why?”Lexa looks at Clarke confused. “Why would you worry about me? You don't know me. You taught me how to swim, which I really appreciate, but why do you worry Lexa?” Clarke steps closer to Lexa even though she is already shaking.

Lexa didn't expect Clarke to ask her such a question, so it takes her a while to answer. “I do care, Clarke. I know that most of the time I act as if I'm above it all, but I can't do that with you. I don't have a lot of friends, mostly because I'm a mess, but I consider you my friend. I know that you probably don't consider me your friend, but you are the first person in years around who I feel comfortable enough to just be myself. You gave me some sort of comfort I didn't even know I needed, and now when I see that you are struggling, I just want to help you. So you're going to race after Raven.” Lexa has a tear falling down her eye, but she quickly wipes it away,and then she turns around to join the others, without giving Clarke a chance to say anything.

* * *

Everybody gets ready for the race. The first competitors already get in the water and concentrate. Then they hear a bell ring and they start to swim. Lincoln is actually a really good swimmer and it doesn't take him long to get in first place. When he arrives back at the starting point he even managed to get some distance between him and the second place. 

Second to race for their group is Raven. She starts as soon as Lincoln gets to her and touches her shoulder. Raven is not as fast as Lincoln but she manages to stay in first place.

Clarke has to get in the water, because she is the next one. She is really nervous. Almost terrified. Lexa stands next to her and puts her arm on Clarke's shoulder. “Hey, look at me, Clarke. You're going to be fine. I promise. I will be right there when you need me, okay? But I believe in you, and I am sure you can do it.” Lexa gives Clarke a reassuring smile and helps her to get in the water. This actually helps Clarke to feel a little more comfortable.

Raven arrives at the shore, still in first place, touches Clarke's shoulder, and Clarke pushes herself off and starts to swim.

The first 100m she does really good, but Lexa notices that she is getting more and more tired by the second. Lexa is worried that maybe Clarke is not going to make it after all, but she sees how much Clarke is fighting. She decides that she should stop worrying and joining the other in their cheering to help Clarke as much as possible.

Clarke finally makes it to the shore, and Octavia starts to swim. Lexa runs over to Clarke and helps her to get out of the water. As soon as Clarke is out of the water, Lexa looks around and is glad to see that everyone is focusing on Octavia and cheering for her, so Lexa steps closer to Clarke and hugs her really tightly. Clarke is still a little out of breath, but it doesn't even take her a second to hug Lexa back.

“You did ii, Clarke. I am so proud of you. I knew you could do it.” Lexa keeps holding Clarke close to her. She is glad that everyone doesn't seem to notice them, because she would probably have taken a step back from Clarke if anyone was looking. 

“I came in last, so that wasn't really good. So do you think that it's bad that I'm still a little proud of myself?” Clarke looks at Lexa and Lexa just chuckles. “Clarke, yesterday you didn't even know how to swim, and today you swam 200m without a break, so you damn well can be proud, I am sure that I am.” Lexa gives her a genuine smile, and hugs her again. 

“Hey Lex, you're next. Are you coming?” Luna calls her. Lexa totally forgot that she still has to swim, but she and Clarke quickly make their way to the others. “Show them how it's done.” Clarke whispers to Lexa and pushes her towards the lake. 

Lexa gets in and waits for Anya to touch her shoulder so that she can start.  
In the end the arrive in second place, only missing the lead for a few seconds, but still the whole team is proud of themselves, because they did really good. 

They go back to camp, and everyone is really exhausted be today's game, so that they don't do much before going to bed. Anya tells them that all of them needed to be fit for the next day, because they will go hiking on Mount Weather. She also tells them that they should take some warm clothes with them, because they will sleep in little rooms, but these won't be heated, and on top of the mountain it could get cold. 

Clarke decides that she will be packing her backpack in the morning, because now she is to tired and she just wants to sleep.

Lexa lays herself next to Clarke and sighs. She is happy to finally be in bed as well, because it was an exhausting day. She just wants to turn to her side when Clarke suddenly speaks up.  
“I'm sorry for this afternoon. I know that you just meant well, so I shouldn't have doubted you. And just to let you know, I care about you too, and I definitely consider you my friend, so you just have to live with that.” Clarke smiles at Lexa and her eyes almost fall close, because she is so tired. Lexa chuckles at that. “Thank you for telling me Clarke. You should probably sleep, tomorrow will be an even more exhausting day for you, since you are so keen on sports.” Lexa winks at Clarke and turns around to go to sleep. 

Clarke thinks that Lexa is cute when she is teasing her. She noticed that Lexa is different to her when they are alone than when anyone is around them. She hasn't asked Lexa yet, why this is the case, but she differently plans on asking her at some point during the next days.

They fall asleep really quickly and almost exactly at the same time.  
As always Lexa has a nightmare during the night. Clarke notices Lexa tossing around and talking in her sleeps, and she wants to wake her, but then she thinks of something else. She lays on her side and moves closer to Lexa and carefully puts her arm around Lexa. Like the last night she feels Lexa stiffen a little bit, but shortly after that she relaxes, and even stops shaking and talking. Clarke holds her for a while, looking at her face to see if it actually helped, and when she is sure that Lexa's nightmare vanished, she crawls even closer to Lexa and goes back to sleep with Lexa's scent in her nose.


	7. Hiking

# Hiking

Everyone has to get up very early today. Anya is the one who should go and wake everyone, but when her alarm goes off, she is too tired and just wants to sleep for a while longer. Luna has woken up, because of the alarm as well and decides that she could spare Anya today and wake everyone herself.

She wants to tell Anya that she can go back to sleep for a little while longer, but when she looks at her, she sees that she is already asleep again. Luna chuckles and gets out of the tent. It is still dark outside since it is so early, and Luna has to be careful where she walks.

She makes her way to Raven and Octavia's tent first. When she opens the door, she sees the two girls snuggled up in each other. She has to smile by how cute they look. She thinks that they are really lucky to have a best friend with whom they can just cuddle whenever they want, and around whom they feel totally and completely comfortable to be themselves.

She remembers that Anya and her had such a friendship.  
Luna and Anya met in High School. They became friends pretty quickly and since then they were inseparable. The first time Luna spent the night at Anya's, she told her that she cuddles her friends, and since Anya is her friend she would cuddle her as well. Anya has never been a person who likes to be hold or even just to be close to someone else, but with Luna it was different. There wasn't anything sexual between them, they were just two friends cuddling and being happy about the fact that they aren't alone. Then a few years later Luna and Anya started dating. They were happy for the time being, but they realized that they weren't going to last forever. After they broke up it took them a while to become friends again. Now they finally are in a good place, but Luna catches herself hoping that they could have that friendship from the beginning again. She would give anything to have her best friend back, but most likely that is never going to happen, so she is just lucky that Anya and her get along so well.

“Hey girls, time to wake up.” Luna whispers so that Raven and Octavia don't get a heart attack with her standing in their tent. “Come on, we have to get ready to leave.” She shakes Raven a little so that she will get up.

“Yeah yeah, we're up, no need to get all handsy on us Luna.” Raven winks at Luna who just shakes her head at her. “You're not really my type Rea, so just get up.” Luna smiles at Raven and thinks that it is funny that this girl is so confident about herself. Luna turns around and wants to make her way to the next tent, when Raven speaks again. “Don't worry about waking Clarke and Lexa, I have to talk to Clarke anyways, so I can just wake them.” Luna nods and goes to wake Lincoln and Bellamy. 

Octavia still seems to be asleep, so Raven shakes her really hard. “O get up. We have to get ready. I need to talk to Clarke for a bit, but when I'm back, I want you to be up, so move it.” Raven jumps up. “What is it with you and Clarke always talking without me?” Octavia wants to be mad at them for leaving her out of it, but she is to tired and closes her eyes again. Raven just shakes her head at Octavia and smiles at her. Then she jogs over to Clarke and Lexa's tent.

“Hey bitches, time to wake up” Raven yells when she opens the tent. She is surprised to find Clarke holding Lexa in her sleep, but she thinks that they look cute together. Lexa is awake now, but she is still too sleepy and tired to realize what's just happening. Clarke on the other hand is awake and sees Raven standing over them and smirking at Clarke. 

“I guess you slept well Clarkey, but I need to talk to you, so move your ass.” Raven takes Clarke's arm to get her to move, but Clarke just groans and falls back down. The only thing is, Clarke doesn't land on her pillow, but on Lexa. Clarke's face is bright red within seconds, and she never in her life was up faster.

Raven just starts laughing when Clarke pushes her out of the tent so they can go sit on their bench again.  
“So what do you want to talk about, Raven?” Clarke asks while sitting down. “First of all you need to tell Octavia about you're feelings for Lexa. She senses that we are keeping something from her and she doesn't like it.” Raven looks at Clarke to see what she has to say about this. “Maybe you're right. We tell each other everything after all, so she should know. I'll tell her. Please tell me there is something else and that you didn't just wake me for that.” Raven rolls her eyes and continues.

“I actually came to you, because I need help. I have been flirting with Anya since day one, and I think that she actually doesn't hate me, but she thinks I'm too young for her. I need to show her that she really should give this a try. We have talked for a while a few days ago and it went pretty good, but I'm still not sure. So I need you to help figure out a way to woo her.” Raven looks at Clarke hopefully. 

“To woo her? Did you really just say that?” Clarke begin to laugh. “Oh my god, you must really like her.” She can't stop laughing at when she sees Raven blush, it only gets worse. ”I do. So now stop laughing and tell me something useful, or I'm going to start to talk about the way you and Lexa cuddled this morning and then I will be the one laughing.” Raven glares at Clarke who finally stops laughing. 

“Fine, fine...But I don't know how I can help you with this, I don't really know Anya. I could always ask Lexa, but I don't think you'd want that, so I guess I won't be a big help.” Clarke shrugs her shoulders.

“I just want to do something that makes her realize that I'm not just some kid who has a crush on her. I don't know why, but I really like her.” Clarke hugs Raven. “This doesn't sound like you at all. You need to get your head back in the game and be your confident self around her, and then I'm pretty sure that she can't say no to you anymore.” Clarke holds Raven tight.

They make their way back to their tents so that they can get ready for their day ahead.

* * *

Everyone is ready to start their hike. Since today is one of the days the groups have to themselves without a competition, the atmosphere is relaxed and everyone seems at ease. So they get a move on.

Anya and Luna walk in front of the group to lead the way. Since Octavia Lincoln and Lexa go running every morning, it is pretty easy for them to keep up, Clarke on the other hand has problems with her breathing already twenty minutes in their hike. 

Lexa runs up to her to ask her if everything is okay. “I'm fine, just a little out of shape.” They keep walking silently next to each other for a while until Clarke speaks up again. “When do you think we are going to take a break? I don't think I can't keep going for much longer without taking a break.” Clarke really seems exhausted and they were only hiking for a little over an hour now.

“I don't know when Anya has planned for the first break, but I think it won't be for at least another hour. I can go ask her if you want?” Lexa actually looks concerned, and when Clarke nods, Lexa runs up to ask Anya.

“Hey An, when do we stop for a while? You know, to drink something and breathe a little.” Anya looks at Lexa with a confused look in her eyes. “We just started an hour ago, I don't think anyone needs to breathe for a while, it isn't that hard of a hike. And you for sure don't need a break.” Anya looks around at the other campers to see if they were actually out of breath, only to find them laughing and talking to each other. Then her eyes fall on Clarke who is still struggling to keep up. 

Lexa can see how Anya's brain is working and connecting the dots. Anya looks back at Lexa and smirks. “Now I understand your sudden which for a break. Your girlfriend is struggling and you want to help her.” Lexa blushes like crazy and Anya can't keep herself from bursting out in laughter. 

“Shut up, An. She is not my girlfriend. I was just looking out for my teammate, and I'm pretty sure the others wouldn't mind a break as well.” Lexa tries to intimidate Anya by staring at her, but her face being bright red doesn't make it really convincing and Anya just keeps laughing.

“Go tell your girlfriend that we will stop in like five minutes so she can rest a little. You can also tell her that she definitely needs to work out more, her stamina is really bad.” Anya is still smirking at Lexa who just rolls her eyes at her and mumbles. “Still not not girlfriend..., but thank you.” She turns around and makes her way back to Clarke.

“Please tell me she said the break isn't far away! I'm dying right now. I really should work out more.” Lexa chuckles at Clarke being over-dramatic and she thinks that even though Clarke looks really annoyed right know, she looks rather cute. “Your probably right about that working out part, but to answer your question Anya said five more minutes. I hope you manage that before you die of exhaustion here.” Lexa mocks Clarke and smirks at her.

“Not funny. You with your perfectly fit body don't get a say in this. You can't possibly understand how exhausting this is for normal people like me.” Clarke fake glares at Lexa which leads only to Lexa laughing even more.

“Well everybody else seems to be just fine, Clarke. Maybe it's your fault that your struggling right now, and not my fault for having a perfectly fit body as you said. I could always wake you in the morning for you to join us on our run. I'm sure no one would mind.” Lexa tries to say it as serious as she can, but she sure as hell knows that Clarke loves her sleep way too much to sacrifice it for any kind of sports. 

Clarke actually considers it for a second, but when she sees Lexa's smile on her face she just shoves her shoulder and starts walking a little faster. She is really tired, but she doesn't want Lexa to see her face right now, since she is blushing at the fact that Lexa noticed her complementing her body.

They keep walking for a while until Anya tells them that they will stop for a while, drink something and rest a little before they will continue.

Clarke let's herself fall on the ground and breathes heavily. Octavia comes over to her and just laughs at her. “You really should work out a little, Griffin. This is already a little pathetic. I'm sure if you asked Bellamy he would be more than happy to carry you all the way up.”

“So not funny,O. How many times do I have to tell you that I am not interested in your brother. He is a nice guy, but way to immature for me.” Clarke rolls her eyes at Octavia and right in that moment Raven comes to sit down next to Clarke and Octavia.

“We're talking about Clarke's new love interest? It's about time you told O, it is way to hard not to tease you in front of O.” Raven grins at Clarke but when she realizes that Octavia and Raven just stare at her, she know that Clarke hasn't told Octavia anything about Lexa. “I guess this means you didn't tell her? Well my bad... but you should tell her anyways, so just get it over with.”

“Who got you're panties in a twist? As long as it's not Lincoln I'm totally fine with it. Let me guess...is it that cute supervisor Wells? I've seen you talk to him a few times. He seems alright. I just don't get it why you haven't told me yet. I get it he is a little older than us, but he is not that...” Octavia keeps rambling and Clarke cuts her off. 

“It is not Wells, O. He is cute, yes, but I am not interested in him like that.” Clarke takes a deep breath and just spits it out. “It's Lexa.”

It is quiet for a while and Octavia just looks at Clarke. After a while she finally says something. “Okay, but I still don't get why you haven't told me. I thought we three were best friends and then you go and just tell Raven something like this.”  
Octavia is a little hurt by Clarke's action and Clarke notices.

“Okay, first of all, I didn't really tell Raven either. I just asked her how she knew that she liked girls as well, because this whole liking a girl thing was new to me, and she just kind sort of guessed that it had something to do with me. And then it didn't take her very long to figure out that I was talking about Lexa.” Clarke explains. “And I'm glad that you know now, because I have no idea what I should do. I know that she likes girls but I don't think she particularly likes me. It seems like she tolerates me because she has to. And I want to show her that I'm am a pretty nice person, so that maybe she wants to keep in contact after camp ends.”

Octavia is still mad at Clarke for telling Raven before her, but she understands why she has done it. “I do think that Lexa likes you too. I'm not sure if she likes likes you, but she definitely likes you. Have you noticed how much she speaks to you and how much she speaks to any of us? I have barely heard her say five words to me and I regularly see you to talking and even laughing together. So I'd say that nothing is lost yet. I think you just have to keep talking to her so that she is comfortable enough to tell you things. I think Lexa is a person who doesn't tell people lightly shit about herself. I'm pretty sure that Lincoln and Anya are the only ones who know things about her and that's only because they are related. So don't give up.”

“Maybe you're right. She has already opened up a lot more to me since the beginning of camp and I think she'll open up even more in the future.” Clarke looks in Lexa's direction, who is currently talking to her sister and Lexa seems to be a little embarrassed, because it seems like she is blushing and Anya is smirking at her.

**  
“Hey Little One, come over here, I need to talk to you for a second.” Anya calls Lexa over to where she is sitting with Luna. 

“How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that. I'm not that much younger than you, so just stop it, please.” Anya makes her way over to them and is clearly annoyed at Anya. “What do you want?”

“Whoa, that's what I get for taking a break for you girlfriend? I think you could be a little nicer to me, don't you think?” Anya tells Lexa who is ready to grouse. “Still not my girlfriend, Anya. And just say what you have to say so that I can leave.” Lexa grumbles. 

“You're in a mood... So, do you think she can make the rest of the walk without having to take a break every thirty minutes.” Anya asks seriously. “We won't make it in time if she doesn't.”

“I don't know. She is honestly really out of shape when it comes to walking or running.” Lexa answers and looks over to Clarke who is currently talking to Octavia and Raven.

“Okay, I can suggest you something. You and Clarke can take the short cut. I've seen you study the map earlier and I have an extra one with me, so you won't get lost. You will miss the waterfall and some incredible views over the whole town, but I think you will be fine since you will be helping Clarke, right?” Anya looks at Lexa. 

Lexa seems to think about it for a while, but then she nods. “Yes, I think that would be best. She was already struggling and since you want to go even higher to see the whole town, I think she will be happy to skip that. And you're right, I studies the map and I know where we need to go.” Lexa is thinking about how long it might take them. “So how long will it take for you guys to get to the meeting point? I think we will be there in like two hours if she doesn't fall asleep on the way.” Lexa smiles a little thinking about how cute Clarke looked when she was all out of breath and whining.

“Like 4 hours, I think.... You really like her, don't you. I haven't seen you smile like this in a while.” Anya smiles at Lexa. Lexa is ready to deny when Anya continues. “Don't even try to deny it. I'm sure a blind person would see that you like her. And I know that you think that you don't deserve to be happy, but you do. She won't replace Costia. She can be the next step in your live. I'm pretty sure she likes you too.”

Lexa sighs. “Okay, yes I like her, but I don't like that I like her. I'm not ready to be with anyone yet, but when it comes to her my brain just shuts off. I just want to hold her hand when we're walking next to each other or hug her when she's standing in front of me, but I can't. I just can't, Anya.”  
There is a little silence between them. Then Lexa asks in a whisper so that Anya almost doesn't hear her. “Do you really think she likes me as well?”

Anya smirks at Lexa and gives her a smug look. That causes Lexa to blush tremendously. “Well, you can ask her yourself, she's coming over here.” And with that Anya is off to talk to Luna.

“Hey there, are you okay? Your face looks worse than mine ten minutes ago, that has to mean something. What did Anya say to you?” Clarke laughs a little as she sees Lexa face only getting darker. 

Lexa tries to shake off her embarrassment and changes the subject. “Well I have good news for you, if you're up to spending two hours alone with me.”

This causes Clarke to blush which only results in Lexa smirking at Clarke. Lexa pats herself on the shoulder for getting such a reaction out of Clarke. Maybe Anya was right and Clarke really might like her. 

Lexa quickly suppresses those thoughts and continues. “I don't know what made you blush like this, but anyway, Anya said that we could use the short cut. So it will only take us like two more hours to get to the tents instead if four. So what do you say?”

“Are you for real now? That would be awesome. I even don't know how I will be able to walk for two more hours, so I would definitely not have survived four. Thank you for doing this for me. I really hope that you won't miss too much. I don't know what they have planned for today, but I hope it's not too much fun.” Clarke feels a little guilty for keeping Lexa away from the group and the activities, but she is really glad that Lexa offered this.

“Hey, don't worry I'm not that big on nature anyways.” Lexa shrugs and right in that moment Anya walks past them and burst out into laughter. Lexa just glares at her as if to say “Don't you dare say a word”, but Anya isn't intimidated by Lexa.”This is the biggest lie I've ever heard. The Commander and not liking nature. This is hilarious. You would live in the forest if it were possible.” She keeps laughing and moves over to the rest of the group to tell them that they will continue their hike.

Clarke just looks at Lexa who is yet again blushing like crazy and raises an eyebrow. “Well I do like nature, but this place isn't that special, I've seen way more beautiful places, so don't worry, I'm fine with taking the short way with you.” Clarke just smiles at Lexa and thanks her again. Then she makes her way over to Octavia and Raven to tell them that she won't leave with them and Raven almost swallows her bottle of water when Clarke tells her she will be alone with Lexa for two hours. They make fun of her for a few minutes until Anya calls them.

* * *

Lexa and Clarke have been walking for almost forty minutes when Lexa notices that Clarke is breathing heavily again. They had slowed down their pace right at the beginning so Clarke would be able to keep going for a while longer, but now she needed a break again. Their walk was mostly silent with Lexa enjoying nature and Clarke trying not to sound too out of breath, but both of them seem to enjoy the quiet.

“You need a break?” Lexa asks Clarke when they are close to a bench and Clarke just nods, not being sure she could get a word out.

After five minutes Lexa asks Clarke if she is ready to continue. Clarke, still out of breath, nods even though she would be more than happy to stay there for a little while longer, but she doesn't want to upset Lexa even more. 

They get up and Lexa notices that already after two minutes Clarke is breathing heavy again. “Are you okay? You should have said something, we could have taken a longer break.” Lexa frowns.

“Thank you, but I don't think a longer break would actually help. I'm dead, and I think I will never make it. You could just carry me, you know. I bet we would be even faster than we are right now.” Clarke jokes.

Lexa seems to think about it for a while before she stops in front of Clarke and bends over. “Hop on. And not a word about this to anyone or you're dead.” Lexa glares at her.

Clarke is a little taken aback by Lexa's proposition. “I was just joking, Lexa. You could never carry me all the way up, I'm way to heavy.” Clarke even blushes when she only thinks about hopping on Lexa's back.

“Well we don't have the whole day. And it seems like you are really tired. And by the way, I definitely can carry you. I already carried Lincoln, and he is way heavier than you. So stop arguing and get on.” Lexa motions with her hands that Clarke should do it. So Clarke takes a deep breath and gets on Lexa's back. 

“Okay, let's go.” Lexa says and to Clarke it seems that Lexa isn't even a little bit bothered by the extra weight. She walks as fast as before and her breathing is still normal. Clarke is in awe by how fit Lexa is. 

They keep going for almost an hour without a break until Clarke hears Lexa's breathing getting heavier. “Hey Lexa, I think I can make the rest of the way myself. I'm sure you would be happy to breathe a little without me strangling you.”

This causes Lexa to stop and Clarke hops off her back again. “You're really fit.” Clarke says to which Lexa just nods. “I mean I knew that before today, I've seen you're body, but this is a whole new level of fit.”

Lexa quirks her eyebrows. “You've seen my body? What about my body?” She smirks when she sees Clarke blushing.  
“Oh you, just shut up, you know all too well that you have a body to die for, you definitely didn't need me to tell you this.” Clarke shakes her head a moves a little faster so that she is in front of Lexa so that Lexa can't see her face which is almost as red as a tomato right now. 

“Haha, well thanks anyways. You're body isn't so bad itself. I just don't understand haw you can be this nonathletic with a body like like yours. You have to do some kind of sports, right?” Lexa smiles at Clarke who just keeps blushing and shaking her head.

“No I don't. I'm just lucky I guess. But after today I think it's strictly necessary that I start moving in anyway, this is pathetic.” Clarke rolls her eyes.

Lexa laughs but doesn't say anything.

* * *

After twenty minutes of slow walking and a little more conversation between them, they arrive at the tents.

“So I guess that since we're the first to arrive we can pick our tent.”Lexa says and looks over at Clarke to see what she is thing.

“Yes, I guess you're right. So I'd say we chose the tent closest to the bathroom?” Clarke asks and Lexa nods.

“I'm happy that I brought my sweater and an extra blanket, it's really cold up here.” Lexa says as she puts her bag in the tent. When she gets out she sees Clarke standing there without moving and a horrified look in her eyes. “You forgot to bring a blanket and a sweater, didn't you?” And Clarke just nods.

It isn't that cold at the moment, but she knows that she will be freezing with only her sleeping bag at night, so she hopes someone of their team packed a second sweater so she won't freeze to death.

* * *

Clarke and Lexa check everything out and before they realize it, the others are already there.

“Hey, so how was you're walk? Did Lexa carry you?” Raven smirks at Clarke. It was supposed to be a joke, but when Raven sees Clarke's face turning red, her eyes go wide open. “No way?!?!” Raven starts laughing so hard that everybody turns around to look if she is okay. 

Octavia makes her way over to them to see what's so funny. Raven has to start over four times because she always bursts out into laughter midway. 

“Way to go, Griffin. I knew you had game.” Octavia laughs as well, but way more controlled than Raven.

“Everything okay with you guys? No one dying?” Anya wants to make sure they are in fact just laughing, which isn't so sure with the sounds Raven makes.

“We're fine. I do have one question though. Is your sister single?” Raven asks Anya.

“Moving on so fast? I thought you wanted to show me that you want to get to know me.”Anya whispers so that only Raven hears this and raises an eyebrow to make it look smug, but inside she is in fact a little hurt. She really likes Raven. She drives her crazy sometimes, but that's what makes Raven, Raven.

“Ohh, no no... I said I will show you how awesome I am so that you will give me a chance. And I am sure that you will notice really soon just how awesome I am, so don't worry.” Raven says this out loud to show Anya that she means what she says and is not playing games.

“I asked this question for my friend here, who is really interested.”Raven points at Clarke who has already pink cheeks out of embarrassment (at this point it seems her face has adapted a new main color since she is embarrassed most of the time these days). 

Anya smirks at Clarke. “You like my sister?” This makes Clarke only blush more and wish she could just disappear. 

Right in that moment Lexa decides to join the group to see what's going on and Clarke thinks now she is going to die of embarrassment. 

“Hey, what's going on, An, what are you talking about?” she looks at everyone's faces and notices that Clarke is the only one who isn't laughing, so she sends her a questioning look and Clarke just shakes her head.

“We were just talking about...” Anya begins but is interrupted by Clarke.”...about who gets which tent and I told them we already picked ours. I think we should go check if no one took our stuff.” Clarke grabbed Lexa by her arm so that she'd follow her. And the rest of their friends just burst out into laughter again.

* * *

Anya and Luna didn't plan a lot for the day, because they waned it to be a chill day for everyone. In the afternoon they all went on a small walk around their camp for the day, nothing Clarke couldn't manage, so that they could enjoy the nature.

In the evening they played a few games, like Pictionary. That's when Lexa found out that Clarke's drawings are amazing and that she is really talented. They still lost since Lexa couldn't even draw if her life depended on it, so Clarke didn't guess one thing Lexa drew and everyone was teasing Lexa, but Clarke told her that she liked Lexa's drawing, the only problem was that they are a little abstract. 

Another game they played was “Who am I” and Clarke had to chose Lexa's character and she wanted to make it funny so she picked Elsa from the movie frozen. She overheard her and Anya talk about frozen once and Lexa told Anya that she hated that movie. So every time when it was Lexa's turn everyone started laughing and Lexa just glared at Clarke.

When they decided it was time for bed it was really cold outside. Clarke shared a blanket with Raven during the games so she didn't really notice, but now she is freezing. How she guessed, no one packed a spare blanked or sweatshirt, so she would just have to survive the night in only her sleeping bag. 

Lexa was already in her sleeping bag when Clarke entered the tent and laid down.

Lexa could hear Clarke shivering. “Are you cold?” Lexa asks, more to annoy Clarke than to really get an answer. “Of course I'm cold. I forgot to bring anything that could keep me warm.” Clarke sasses back.

“Well I would share with you, but my blanket is way to small for two people.” Lexa apologizes.

“I'll survive, but thanks anyways.” Clarke answers.

After what seems like eternity Lexa realizes that Clarke is not going to stop shivering and that she won't sleep at all like this, so she decides to do the only thing that might help.

“Open you sleeping bag, Clarke” is all Lexa says.

“What? Are you crazy? I am already freezing, it won't be better when I open it and then more cold air comes in, no thank you.” Clarke says.

Lexa just rolls her eyes. “That's not why I wanted you to open your sleeping bag. Like I said my blanket is not big enough for two people, and I will definitely not sleep in the cold because you forgot to bring one. So you open your sleeping bag, I open my sleeping bag and then we connect them so we will be in the same on. Then I will cuddle you, put the blanket over the sleeping bag and we will both be warm. So now shut up and open it, so we can finally go to sleep.”

Clarke didn't expect Lexa to do this, but she is so cold that she doesn't care what she has to do to be warmer, so she does as Lexa says and not even a minute later Lexa's front is pressed against Clarke's back.

They have cuddled a few times now, since Lexa always has nightmares, but there was always something between them. Having Lexa pressed directly against her almost drives her crazy. She doesn't know how a person can feel this good. She feels warmer right away, and when Lexa even rubs her arm to help her get warmer, Clarke almost passes out.

“Try to sleep now, Clarke” Lexa whispers in Clarke's ear. 

“Thank you for doing this Lexa, I owe you big time.” Clarke answers, but Clarke can already feel Lexa's breathing evening out and she sighs contently. 

Clarke could get used to this.


	8. Movie Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They continue their hike and decide to have a movie night, with movies not everyone may like.

# Movie Night

Lexa wakes up early in the morning still holding Clarke in her arms. She is not really awake yet but smiles at their position. Lexa likes Clarke, there is no denial in that, but she feels bad for liking her. Costia was the love of her life and she misses her, but with Clarke around, Lexa doesn't think about Costia that much anymore. This makes her scared. She is afraid that she is going to forget her. Costia can't be replaced but that's exactly what she's doing. Well at least that's what Lexa thinks she is doing.

She needs to get up. She can't lay this close to Clarke anymore. She needs to breathe and with Clarke around that feels impossible to her.

She moves carefully away from Clarke, trying not to wake her. She hears Clarke sigh in her sleep when she is out of the sleeping bag and if Lexa wasn't in a bad condition this morning she might actually think that this was the cutest thing she has ever heard. 

She wants to get out of the tent but she hears Clarke sigh again. She turns around and looks at her. Even in the state she is in right now, she can't deny that Clarke looks cute with her hair all wild and while hugging the sleeping bag. Lexa takes the blanket which lays at Clarke's feet and puts it over Clarke so that she won't be cold and leaves the tent.

It's still early so Lexa thinks that everyone is still asleep but she is surprised when she finds Anya sitting at the fireplace.

“Good morning, An. What are you doing awake already?” Anya frowns and sits next to her. Lexa always feels safer when Anya is around, because she knows that Anya would do anything for her and she knows that Anya really cares about her.

“Hey little one. I couldn't sleep anymore, my head is somewhere else right now.”Anya answers without going into detail but knowing damn well that she has to tell Lexa anyways.

“I could ask or you could just tell me already.” Lexa looks at Anya who sighs. “It's about Raven. We had a moment last night. She kissed me and then... she just left. I don't know what's going on inside my head but I just can't sleep right now.”

“You kissed? It's about time girl. She has been undressing you with her eyes since day one and don't think I didn't notice the glances you give her or the way you checked out her ass yesterday.” Lexa smirks and sees that her sister's face blushes. “But why did she leave? Are you such a bad kisser?” Anya shakes her head. “No, I'm definitely not a bad kisser. I think it was more part of her plan than that she didn't like it.”

**  
Last night...  
“Hey O, I need your help with something.” Raven sits down next to Octavia who was just lovingly checking Lincoln out. 

“Sure, shoot.” Octavia still doesn't take her eyes off Lincoln but she listens to her friend.

“Well I've been trying to seduce Anya for a while now but she just won't give in. We had a few pretty good talks buts that's it. Like don't get me wrong, I like talking to her, I really do, but I just want more from time to time... like I want to kiss her and hold her in my arms when she falls asleep and shit like that.” Raven tries to explain to Octavia.

Octavia just looks at her friend and smiles. “You really do like her, don't you? I haven't seen you like this since... well in a long time, and I just want to say that it suits you!” 

Raven is actually blushing but doesn't say a word so Octavia continues. “And I do think that Anya likes you too, but Anya seems to be a tough girl who likes challenges and I think you're ,making it too easy for her right now. Like you're always there and tell her that you like her and want to get to know her and stuff. Like don't get me wrong, that's not bad but it just won't get you far with her I think. You should just be your sassy self with her and I'm positive that she will like you even more.”

“Urrrggghhh... why do I have to be this difficult? This is so not me, you're right. I think I have an idea what I will do next.” Raven just gets up and makes her way to Anya's tent without looking back at Octavia. 

“Hahaha, I think Raven finally is back.” Octavia says to herself as she let's her gaze wander back to Lincoln.

 

“Hey there HotStuff” Raven smirks at Anya who is currently talking to Wells, Luna, Murphy and Niylah. 

“I really need to talk to you, can I steal you for a moment?” Raven puts her hand out for Anya to take it. Anya looks at Raven and is a little flustered but just takes her hand.

They walk a little further away, so that they are out of sight from the others.

“So I have to be clear about something. This is the last time I make a move on you. If you don't want to be with me, or even just hang out with me and see where this is going, that's fine, but I won't chase you forever. The ball is in your court now, Anya.” Raven makes a step to move closer to Anya, and without a second of hesitation, Raven closes the gap between them and kisses Anya. 

**

“Whoa, ehmm.... that sounds fun?” Lexa says. “I do think she is right though, don't you think so? Like she has done a lot to impress you and you always told her off. Now she told you how she felt and gave you the choice to take this to the next step or leave it be. I think that's pretty mature of her, no?”

Anya just nods while thinking about what Lexa said. Maybe her little sister was right, and she was being too hard on Raven. She really likes the brunette and doesn't want whatever they have between them to end. 

“Maybe you're right but what should I do? I don't know, I can't just go up to her and tell her that she was right.... that would be sooo not good for her ego. She is already way too in love with herself. Which again is not a bad thing, I think it makes her look even hotter. And that kiss... oh my god Lexa, you have no idea what a good kiss feels like! Her lips were so soft and urgh... I never wanted to stop kissing her and it definitely was over way too soon. I wanted to do so much more to her...” Anya keeps on rambling, totally forgetting what they were actually talking about until Lexa interrupts her.

“Okay okay.... I do not need any details of what you want to do to her. So you need to stop right there. And you should just talk to her! God you're older than me and you're acting like a child! You like her and she likes you, it's as easy as this. Now grow some balls and talk to her!” Lexa gets more and more frustrated with her sister.

“Alright alright... you need to chill little one. But maybe you're right... I'll think about it. Enough about me now though... why are you awake?” Anya moves closer to Lexa because she can feel that something is bothering Lexa and she wants to show her sister that she is there for her and that Lexa can tell her anything.

“I'm okay.” Lexa just shakes her head and it looks like she more said that to convince herself than someone else.

“It's because today would be her birthday, isn't it?” Anya whispers so that it is barely audible for Lexa, but Lexa heard. 

This is enough for Lexa and she starts to cry. “I miss her An! Why can't she just come back to me? I need her! I can't do all of this without her!” Lexa sits down and buries her face in her hands and pulls her knees closer to her body.

Anya hasn't seen Lexa this broken since the night of the accident. It breaks her heart to see that Lexa still hurts so much and she wishes she could just take her pain away. 

She sits down next to Lexa and puts her arms around Lexa to show her that she is there for her and that she always has someone to talk to. She tries to comfort Lexa but that only seems to make it worse and Lexa cries even more.

“What if I forget her? What if me falling in love again or even just let someone new in ends up in me letting go peaces of her and soon I will be forgetting more and more! I cant even remember what she smelled like, Anya! I can't! I tried to remember it but it just won't come back to me. I just miss her so much! It hurts and I don't wanna hurt anymore.” Lexa sobs and Anya feels that Lexa isn't finished yet so she keeps quiet encouraging Lexa to keep going. “It has been 3 years since she left and I haven't had a day or night where I didn't think of her and missed her like crazy. Until last night.... I dreamed about you, Linc.... and Clarke. And she wasn't on my mind for even a second last night. And the problem is not that I didn't think about her last night, but it is that I was happy last night in my dreams and she wasn't there. I was happy without her. How can I be happy without her? I don't deserve to be happy when she doesn't get a chance to be happy anymore! I don't want to forget her, Anya?”

Anya doesn't know what she should tell Lexa and she is hurting with Lexa. She really just wants her little sister to have a moment of peace and not worry about everything and be sad all the time. “Hey Lex, breathe! It will all be okay in the end. I'm absolutely sure that it is not possible that you forget her. She was such an important part of your life since forever. You couldn't even forget her when you wanted to. And of course there will come days and nights when you don't think of her that much or even at all, but that doesn't mean you'll just forget about her! She will always be in your heart. She will always be your first real best friend, your first kiss, your first time, your first girlfriend, and you had so many more first times with her that it is completely impossible for you to forget her. And I am sure that one day you will be happy again, because you deserve so much! And it will not be happy without Costia, cause Costia is always with you, and if you are happy I am sure that she is as well. So think of it like making her happy by letting yourself be happy again. And maybe one day you will finally be able to talk about the good memories you had with her and not be sad while thinking about her. You just have to give it time. This may be hard but it is a step in the right direction. And you won't forget her, I can promise you that, Lexa.”

Lexa's sobbing has stopped, she is still silently crying but way more calmly than before. She listened to every word Anya said.  
2 weeks ago Lexa never thought that she could ever be okay again, but now everything is changing so fast and she just doesn't know what to think anymore. Being next to Clarke makes her feel things she is not used too. She feels warm, comfortable, at ease and happy, but at the same time she is terrified of those feelings she has for Clarke. She doesn't want to keep running away from any happy moment she has, but it is hard to let herself actually let those thoughts in.

She doesn't know how long they keep sitting there all curled up together with Anya holding her sister. The sun is getting up and it is getting warmer.  
There are already a few people up and getting breakfast but Lexa hasn't seen Clarke yet and she is pretty sure the girl is still asleep anyways. 

The two of them make their way back to the other. Lexa is feeling a little better but she is not ready to see Clarke so she tells Anya to go wake her so she doesn't have to do it.

They all eat breakfast together and then they pack their stuff to continue their hiking trip. 

They will have to walk for like 3 hours, but it's pretty flat since they will be staying on top of the mountain for another night so Clarke can keep up with the rest of the group.

Lexa hasn't talked to Clarke the whole day and Clarke is worried that Lexa is mad at her, so she goes up to her and asks her. “Hey there.... is everything okay? I feel like you're avoiding me and I don't really know why. Like yeah I forgot my blanket yesterday, but I didn't force you to share yours...”

“Whoa just breathe Clarke... I'm not mad at you or anything. I'm just not really in the mood to talk today, but that's not your fault.” Lexa tries to reassure Clarke.

“If you say so. I really hope I didn't so anything wrong again tho.” Clarke looks at Lexa and it seems that she even is ashamed of herself.

“Hey, no don't say that! I was being the bitch at the beginning, that wasn't your fault either. And I really am not mad at you. Today is just not my favorite day, so not your fault.” Lexa explains to Clarke, and this actually seems to make Clarke believe her.

 

After 3 hours they arrive at a big bungalow. It is pretty much the only thing there is, but the whole atmosphere is just beautiful. 

Before everyone starts asking questions, Anya explains to them what that means. “We will stay here for the night. So no tents today. You will again share a room with your teammate tho. There is a waterfall not far from here where we will go swimming today and have some fun. There are a few nice places around here as well that we can check out. And then tonight we can all watch a movie on Raven's laptop, because I know she brought it along.” Anya finishes and smirks at Raven who just holds her hands in the air to show her retreat, but laughs nevertheless. 

Everyone seems to be okay with this plan. So they go in their rooms to put of their bags and put on their swimsuits. 

They all have a fun day while swimming next to the waterfall and look at beautiful views. Lexa was pretty much isolated from the group today tho. She didn't feel good to spend time with the others while she wasn't in a bad mood. 

It is still pretty early when they decide to start their first movie.

“So what do you guys wanna watch? I have like over 200 movies on here, so I think we're going to find something.” Raven tells the group and Octavia is right there to call dibs on choosing the first movie.

They end up watching Frozen which Lexa really doesn't like.... well she says that she doesn't but Clarke catches her smiling at the screen more than ones. Tho every time Lexa realizes what she is doing she looks around and goes back to watch the movie with a stoic expression. No one can know that the badass fearless and strong commander likes a Disney movie like Frozen.

Clarke thinks that it is cute that Lexa likes Frozen. It is Clarke's favorite movie after all, and she would really like to know what Lexa really thinks about it. But she is sure as hell that she will not get that out of Lexa in front of all the others.

After they finished the first movie, Anya is up to decide what they will watch now. To make it a little more interesting, Anya decides to choose a horror movie. Clarke tries with all she got to change Anya's choice since she hates horror movies and is so quickly scared of them, but she doesn't change her mind. 

So Raven clicks on a movie called Friend Request. This movie is about a girl who accepts a friend request on facebook from a strange girl who will be obsessed with her and haunt her after she dies. It's not even a really scary movie but Clarke already knows that she will die and probably scream during the whole movie.

As the movie begins it's pretty harmless, and Clarke is impressed by the main actress in this movie, because she thinks this is one of the most beautiful girls she has ever seen. After a while she realizes that the actress reminded her of Lexa and her face begins to blush again after those thoughts. 

After a while in the movie gets scarier tho. Everyone seems to be fine with it, except Clarke. She jumps up and quietly screams from time to time and places her hands in front of her face to not have to watch all of the movie.

Then suddenly there is a really scary scene, which causes everyone to jump, even Anya did react to it. Clarke was just terrified and the first thing she thought of was to bury her face somewhere. This place was Lexa's neck tho, which the brown haired girl did not like at all. Clarke now all curled up in Lexa, still to frightened to move doesn't even know what she is doing and who's personal space she is invading right know until Lexa pushes her of and jumps up.  
“What the fuck is wrong with you? Keep your hands to yourself and stop being all over me! I am not your girlfriend or anything so just stop touching me.” Lexa starts screaming and looks at Clarke who is just shocked by the action.

Clarke can't believe what she is hearing. How can Lexa react like this? Okay, she gets that she shouldn't have moves this close to Lexa but it's not like she did it on purpose. And even if she did! God dammit, Clarke has been there for Lexa during the nights since camp began and Lexa not once complained about being close to her then, but now that Clarke needed some comfort Lexa was the first one to attack her and pull her down. 

“Are you for real now? After everything I've done for you this is how you treat me? Well fuck you Lexa, I'm off.” Clarke gets up and runs past all the others and leaves the bungalow. 

It is dark outside but since the moon is up, Clarke can see where she is going. She sits down next to a tree not far away from the bungalow and starts to cry. 

She knew that Lexa wasn't her biggest fan but she never expected Lexa to react like this. This was just cruel of her. She literally pushed Clarke off of her like Clarke had some kind of disease. Clarke is really pissed at Lexa and really hurt too. She really thought that her and Lexa were going in the direction and finally becoming friends and she hopes that she could even ask Lexa out at some point. But now she is not sure if she actually wants that to happen anymore.

**

On the inside of the bungalow everyone is looking at Lexa. Most of them were shocked about what happened since it usually takes a lot for Clarke to get mad at someone. 

Anya looks over at Lexa and seems to be mad. She gets up takes Lexa by her arms and leads her out of the room.

“What is wrong with you? Why the hell are you acting like an idiot around Clarke? I know that today has been hard for you but still this is not an excuse for how you reacted just now. The girl was scared and looking for comfort and you just pushed her off. I would understand it if she never wants to talk to you again. This was just way out of line Lexa. It wasn't like she was trying to kiss you or something she was just scared. And after everything she has done for you, help you sleep and stuff, you should definitely have thought twice about pushing her of you. I'm really mad at you right now, Lexa. And you should go outside and apologize to her.” Anya is yelling at Lexa now and you can see that she is obviously angry at Lexa.

“I know that it wasn't right.” Lexa looks ashamed. “My brain just shut off. I was trying not to think about Clarke the whole day and I just couldn't do it. God she is on my mind the whole time and it's scaring me so much! And I knew that she was scared and god how I wish I could just have put my arms around her and hold her tight. But I can't do that! And then she threw herself at me and god I liked it. But I shouldn't like it and that's when my brain went loco. I just couldn't breathe anymore and I had to do something, so I pushed her of.”

Anya didn't expect to hear this. She thought that Lexa would just say that she doesn't like Clarke and that Clarke should have paid attention not to touch her. But this changes everything. Lexa can't fight it anymore. And Anya is pretty sure that if Clarke forgives Lexa one more time, that they could actually have something beautiful together. But for that Lexa has to apologize first.

“She's outside somewhere. You need to apologize! And stop with all that crap about you not liking that you like her. Just get over yourself. You like her and she likes you. It can't get any better Lexa. So grow some balls and go talk to the girl. I really hope she'll listen to you.” Anya just shakes her head and leaves Lexa alone.

Lexa stays in the room for like five more minutes until she makes her way outside to go look for Clarke. It doesn't take her long to find the blonde. Clarke is still sitting underneath the tree and she looks sad. This breaks Lexa's heart since that was the last thing she wanted to do. 

She moves closer to Clarke and asks her if she can sit down next to her. Clarke just looks up to Lexa and looks away again. Since Clarke didn't say no, Lexa takes this as a yes and sits down.

They sit there for a while until Lexa starts to speak. “Three years ago I was in an accident. It was a car crash. We were on our way home from a party. I was driving. I didn't drink anything the whole night. We even left pretty early since... since Costia had to be up early.” Lexa takes a deep breath before she continues. “She was wasted, but it didn't matter since I was the one driving. She fell asleep right when we were in the car. We had a thirty minute drive in front of us, so I was happy that she fell asleep. But not even 5 minutes later it happened. Someone missed a red light and hit the car right there where Costia was sitting.” Tears are starting to fall from Lexa's eyes know and Clarke is actually looking at Lexa to silently tell her that she is listening. So she continues. “Costia was dead right that second the doctors said. She didn't feel anything. For her it was like falling asleep and never waking up again. I only had a concussion and a few broken ribs, but that was all. A week later I was perfectly fine again and she was gone. She just died. She wasn't even the one driving and she just died. I should have been the one who died that night and not her. The driver who hit us was drunk. And he was fine too afterwards. Only Costia died.” Lexa is trying to calm herself down a little but it isn't really working. Then Clarke places her hand on Lexa's knee and Lexa only cries even more. “Today would have been her birthday. I just miss her so much. And I was okay until I met you. I really didn't want to push you away before. That was just mean. I loved and still love Costia, but I catch myself thinking about you more and more and it is driving me crazy. I can't have feelings for someone else than her. She was the love of my life. And I'm really sorry for the way I acted inside. I was just on edge the whole day today and this just was to much for me to handle, having you this close to me and all. I know that this is not a good apology and that nevertheless I shouldn't have done that, but it happened and I can't change that. So please just give me another chance and I promise I will never do something like this ever again. I like you Clarke and I'm sorry that I hurt you. That was never my intention.” Lexa looks at Clarke still crying and ashamed.

Clarke has tears in her eyes as well. She would never have guessed that Lexa has been through this much already and that she is so sad. “Hey don't worry about it. Like please don't do that ever again, because it really did hurt and I felt like crap afterwards, but now since you told me why it happened, I do understand it. And I'm sorry that you had to go through this. No one deserves that.”

Clarke's hand is still on Lexa's knee and they just keep sitting there in comfortable silence until Anya comes out to check if they are both still alive an to tell them that they will go to bed now. 

So they all go to there rooms and get ready to sleep. Clarke and Lexa still have to talk about a lot,but they both decided that that should happen some other time since they are exhausted right now. 

They get in bed and Clarke moves over to Lexa and puts her arm over her. Lexa is shocked that Clarke still wants to be this close to her after how she acted today, but she doesn't say a word and let's sleep finally get her.


	9. The Next Day

# The Next Day 

Last night was hard for both Lexa and Clarke. Lexa hurt Clarke, and even though Clarke knows that it wasn't her intention she is still disappointed and hurt. She understands why Lexa was so tense the whole day and why she didn't want to talk to anyone, but she still feels like Lexa should have talked to her rather than just humiliate her in front of the whole group.

Clarke wakes up before Lexa does, which is still a strange feeling to Clarke since Lexa usually already left when she wakes up. She slowly untangles herself from Lexa while trying not to wake her. Clarke has to talk to Raven and Octavia about what happened yesterday and what she should do now. So she makes her way over to their room.

Raven, Octavia and Clarke have a really good relationship. They are always honest with each other, tell each other everything and they trust each other 100%, so Clarke doesn't even think about knocking and just marches in.

What she finds there was not something she expected tho. She doesn't see Raven and Octavia, but she sees raven and Anya. Naked. With Anya on top of Raven. 

It takes everyone a little while to realize what's going on. Clarke is just standing in the room looking at her friend and her supervisor. Raven and Anya stopped what they were doing and stare perplexed at Clarke. No one is saying a word and everyone is only staring, until Anya finally realizes whats going on and orders Clarke to get out. Clarke finally realizes what she just walked in on and turns around as fast as she can and runs outside and closes the door.

That was something Clarke never ever in her life wanted to witness. She was still in shock and trying to get the image of her best friend fucking her crushes sister out of her head when Octavia appears.

“Hey Clarkey.... I was just on the way to grab something from my room and then I was coming to yours to check on you. I only have to grab a new shirt from my room and then we can talk!” Octavia wants to get her room but right in that moment Clarke snaps out of her trance and grabs Octavia's arm. “Nooo, you do not want to go in there....believe me!”

“Ehmm... this is my room Clarke, you know that, right?” Octavia asks a little confused. “And I'm sure Raven wants to talk to you as well, so we should get her.”

“I think Raven has better things to do than talking right now.” Clarke almost whispers and shudders when she only thinks about it. When she sees that Octavia only is even more confused she explains. “I sort of walked in on our best friend having sex. And not with herself. That I could have accepted to walk in on, but Raven naked on her bed with Anya bouncing on top of her is so not okay for my eyes to witness. And believe me you do not want to enter there right now.” 

It takes Octavia a few seconds to realize what Clarke just told her, but then she starts to laugh out loud. “Finally!!! Raven grew a pair and finally talked to Anya! God now I don't have to listen to her go on and on about how Anya always ignores her even though she knows that, let me quote, 'wants this perfectly formed body'. God Clarke, you have no idea how happy this makes me right now.... at least we will get some explicit sex details now, and not only Raven's whining.”

“Yeah... I am happy for her..... but couldn't she lock the door? I really, really didn't want to see that! I will never get that picture out of my head! You know how my brain is! It will be in there forever.” Clarke complains and this only results in Octavia laughing even more.

Just as the two of them decide to turn around and wait for Raven outside, the door opens and a clearly tired and exhausted Anya comes out. She looks the girls right in the eyes and says with a stern look on her face, “Not a word you too... and Clarke, there is a thing called knocking...” and with that Anya is gone.

Octavia tries not to laugh as long as Anya is standing in front of them, but as soon as she is gone she bursts out into laughter again. “I think our friend is not bad in bed when we go by the way Anya just looked.” And without saying anything else Octavia enters her room.

“Hey Reyes, I hope you are dressed now, because we don't need to see your naked body all covered in sweat and other body fluids...” Octavia shouts as soon as she is in the room, while her eyes are still closed, not wanting to see something unwanted. 

Raven is already in the shower, so Clarke and Octavia make themselves comfortable on the floor, since the definitely do not want to sit on the bed right now.

It doesn't take long for Raven to come back from her shower with her hair still wet, and it even looks like she is blushing a little when she sees Clarke and Octavia.

“There you are! So let's do this. We'll talk about Raven and Anya first and then Clarke will explain to us what happened with Lexa yesterday. So go Raven...” Octavia says.

Raven sits down next to her two best friends and and starts talking. “Well we had sex.” Clarke and Octavia just rolled their eyes, “you don't say, Sherlock... I saw that myself!”

“Yes well that is your own fault, Clarke. You could have knocked for a change and not just barged in as always.” Raven exclaims and throws her arms in the air. “Believe me, it wasn't just you that was thrown of in that moment.... you ruined an incredible orgasm for me, so don't you complain about it too much since your lack of knocking didn't just affect you.”

“Okay okay, no fighting here. Raven, we want more details about what happened last night.” Raven seems to get the message and starts to talk.

**  
The night before....

“Hey Rave, where are you headed? You should be in your room already.” Anya asks as she is on her way to her room. 

“I just wanted to check on Clarke and see if she needed to change rooms for the night. I don't know what's wrong with Lexa but Clarke did not deserve that!” Raven wants to continue walking to Clarke's room when Anya suddenly grabs her arm.

“Lexa and Clarke talked it out. They are both in their room and I would let them be for now. You can talk to her in the morning if you want. I just saw them outside and they both seem to be okay, so just let them sleep.” Anya tries to convince Raven.

“You may be right, but I really don't want Clarke to be alone with that bitch tonight. I know that she is your sister, but the way she treated Clarke was not okay! Clarke deserves someone who treats her right and doesn't just push her off. I haven't seen Clarke cry like that in ages. She was really hurt and your little sister did that to her! I am not sure what would be a good enough reason for Clarke to forgive Lexa for this as fast as you claim she did.” Raven is really mad right now, and just wants to be there for her best friend.

“Okay, first of all, you do not get to call my sister a bitch! She is the most caring person I know and even if she acted like one she does not deserve that. And I didn't say that Clarke forgave her already. I really hope she didn't since Lexa really was out of place there, but the two of them talked and they seem to be fine sleeping in the same room tonight.” Anya tries to get Raven to listen to her, but Raven is still just mad and doesn't want to argue right now. “Okay, you seem to be really mad right now. If you want we can sit down some place and talk about it. I can't tell you everything since it isn't my story to tell, but I can give you some facts that may help you understand Lexa a little better.... and I'm not saying Lexa did the right thing tonight, because she was wayyyy out of place.”

This seems to calm Raven down a little and she tells Anya that they can talk in her room since Octavia will spend the night with Lincoln. 

“I won't say anything about your friend's sleeping situation only because I know that Lincoln is responsible and won't get her pregnant. But only this once! You can tell your friend that and I will talk to Linc in the morning.” Anya rolls her eyes and leads the way to Raven's bedroom.

Anya tells Raven that her little sister lost someone a while ago and that it would have been their birthday today. She doesn't go into detail about the accident or that the person Lexa lost was the love of her life since this is not Anya's place to tell people.

They keep talking for a while longer, not only about Lexa but about their lives as well. Then Raven remembers her talk with her friends the other day “Just be yourself Ray and everything will be fine”. And then she does exactly that. She leans forward and kisses Anya mid-sentence. 

Anya is a little taken aback by this action, but it doesn't take her long to recover and kiss Raven back. They don't need to talk, they know that both of them want it, so without talking they make their way to the bed and have fun during the whole night until Clarke barges in on them.

**

“That's the end of the story.” Raven finishes. 

“So.... who tops?” Octavia asks with a smirk on her face which leads to Raven blushing even more than before and Clarke just shaking her head.”If this morning were any indication, I can tell you that it's not Raven who tops... Anya clearly was in charge!” Clarke says out loud and then whispers still for everyone to hear, “I wish I didn't know that”.

Octavia is now lying on the floor clenching at her stomach and laughing so hard that there are even no more sounds coming out. Raven and Clarke on the other hand just want to change the topic now.

“So enough about me and my sex life, which is like amazing compared to Clarke's non-existent one. We have to talk about Clarke now. And well Lexa's freak-out yesterday.” Raven says.

Clarke knew that this topic would come up at some point, and still she hoped she could have avoided it for a little longer. “Well you know already the part about Lexa's deceased girlfriend's birthday and that's pretty much it already. She had a bad day yesterday and I came in the way so she pushed me away. Literally. And I get why she did it... I think she likes me too. Like more than just friends. But I don't think she is ready for feelings like this. I hope that she will be at some point because I REALLY like her but after yesterday I think I need some distance from her. Like I get it. She felt like crap and all but that's not a reason to make me feel like crap too. I had nothing to do with any of this, so she shouldn't have treated me like this. And yes she apologized to me, but urgh... my head is just going crazy right now.”

“Hey Clarke, don't feel bad for not forgiving Lexa right away. She may have had her reasons to push you away like this, but you have your reasons to be mad at her now too. I'm sure she'll understand if you need a little distance.” Raven assures Clarke.

“Yeah anyways, I really don't wanna talk about it right now. I won't hold this against Lexa, but if she likes me even just a little bit, she'll have to make a move on me, because she definitely made me be cautious about her. But yea... really now...enough about that, did any of you have breakfast this morning? And Raven don't you dare say something dirty about this right now.”

Ravens smirk that appeared on her lips quickly disappears and she mumbles something neither Octavia nor Clarke understand.

So the three of them go off to have breakfast together.

* * *

Anya gently knocks on Lexa's door asking if she may come in. When she doesn't hear anyone complain she walks in and sees Lexa still laying in her bed. So Anya thinks it's best to let her sleep for a while longer, but as soon as she turns around to leave she hears Lexa speak. “ I'm not asleep, you can stay.”

Anya makes her way to the bed and sits down on the edge of it. No one speaks for a while until Anya finally breaks the silence. “How are you feeling after last night, Lexa?”

“Hmmphh... I acted like a bitch! Clarke really did not deserve that. And yes I talked to her about it and explained it, and it looked like she doesn't hate me, but I could feel that she is mad at me. And yes she has every right to be mad at me, cause it was really wrong what I did yesterday. But I have this feeling in my stomach that I really really don't like, cause I know that I made her angry and uurgghh...” Lexa is trying to explain how she feels, but it is only giving her a bigger headache than she already got. She wants just that last night never happened and that Clarke and her can go back to where they were before last night.

“You really like her, don't you?” Anya asks Lexa even though she already knows the answer.

“Yes, I really do. And I need to make this right with her. Costia would have wanted me to at least try and be happy again. And I'm not saying that Clarke will be that happiness, but she could be. And I won't give up on her just yet.” Lexa seems to feel a little better now while she thinks of a way to show Clarke that she really is sorry for how she acted.

Lexa keeps thinking for a while until Anya can see in Lexa's eyes that she has an idea. “I need your help for this, but she will be so happy about this. Please say you'll help me?” Lexa looks at Anya with puppy dog eyes, and Anya bursts out into laughter since she has never ever seen Lexa look so fragile and cute at the same time. Usually Lexa is in commander mode and she could actually kill someone with just one look.

“Hhahaha, well first of all tell you what you have in mind, little one, I won't agree to anything until I know what it is” Anya chuckles when she sees Lexa get up, ready to explain her plan.

“Well Clarke told me a few times already how much she misses her brother, and that she is sad that she can't be there for his birthday, which actually is today. And I was thinking that maybe you could call her parents and check if it were possible if Clarke could skype with her brother for a little while. Like just wish him happy birthday and tell him that she misses him. I know that it's not allowed to have contact with family while you're in here, but Clarke really really misses her brother, and it's his birthday. That would mean so much to her, and I would owe you big time. Like I'm gonna buy you dinner for a week and make your laundry for two weeks, just please do this for me.” Lexa keeps on rambling while Anya just smiles and is amused about how excited Lexa is about this.

“Okay slow down, please, you're giving me a headache with all that talking. You know that Jaha told us we could use the wifi for private things tho, right?” Anya starts and sees Lexa's smile falter. “But let's say one week food and a month laundry and I may forget my laptop with the wifi on in your tent, and make sure that Aden knows that Clarke will be calling.”

“Ohh my god, you're the best Anya, really! This means so much to me, thank you! I love you big sister.” Lexa gets up and moves to Anya and gives her a hug. Anya is really surprised about this, since Lexa hasn't shown any emotions towards her in a long time. 

Maybe this is the start of Lexa finally getting better and starting to live again, Anya hopes and makes her way back to her room so that she can call Clarke's parents to ask if they're okay with Clarke calling Aden.

* * *

As it turns out, Clarke's parents were thrilled about the idea of Aden calling Clarke. They even promised to keep it a secret from Jaha if he asks about it.

They made their way down to the camp again, and going downwards was actually easier then up the mountain, so Clarke wasn't out of breath as much as on their way up.

**

Anya's laptop was already in their tent and Aden would call in ten minutes, so now the only thing Lexa needs to do, is get Clarke to join her in their tent.

She walks up to Clarke, Octavia and Raven who are currently talking and laughing next to Raven's and Octavia's tent. “Ehmm... heyy guys... Clarke, could I borrow you for a minutes, I wanna show you something.” Lexa asks shyly while Raven and Octavia give her angry stares.

“We're sort of busy right now, Lexa, I'm sure we can do that later.” Clarke answers and turn her attention back to her friends.

“Ehmm... actually we can't. This has to happen now. I promise you that you won't regret coming with me. And if you do after all, you can just come back her in a minute.” Lexa tries to explain. When Clarke still doesn't seem convinced, Lexa continues. “Please, Clarke. I know that you don't like me right now, but this is m trying to make this right. I really wanna show you that I care about you and that yesterday was just me acting like a stupid bitch, but that wasn't me. Which is not a good enough apology I know. You deserve so much more, so please let me try make this right and follow me.” When Lexa finishes her speech she looks to the ground a little embarrassed that she said all of this in front of Raven and Octavia, but id Clarke follows her right now, she knows that it will be worth it.

“Okay fine, but if I have enough I'll just leave and come back here.” Clarke finally gives in. Lexa only nods and extends her hand for Clarke to take it. Clarke gets up without Lexa's help tho and they start making their way to their tent. 

Clarke doesn't know what Lexa has in mind, so she just follows her inside and sits down. When she sees Anya's laptop she is about to protest, since she is not going to watch a movie with Lexa right now, when she hears a kids voice say 'Hello'.

Clarke recognizes that voice right away and looks on the screen. There he is. Clarke's little brother, with the biggest smile ever on his face, greeting Clarke. She can't believe that this is actually happening. 

Still shocked about what she's seeing she looks up at Lexa who was about to leave the tent and speaks not louder than a whisper. “You did this?” She has tears in her eyes and a smile on her lips. Lexa only looks Clarke deep in her eyes and gives her a genuine smile back. Then she silently leaves the tent and gives the siblings some privacy.

**

Clarke's call ends after about fifteen minutes. She gets out of the tent and the first thing she does is look for Lexa. When she finally sees her, she walks towards her and without a second thought she slams her arms around Lexa and hugs her really tightly. Lexa did not expect this, and usually she doesn't show emotions when other people are around, and the whole camp is watching them now, but this time Lexa does care. She puts her arms around Clarke and pulls her closer.

Clarke whispers a thank you in Lexa's ear and they keep holding on for a little while longer until Clarke let's go of Lexa. They just smile at each other for a while until they separate, Lexa going back to tent to pack up Anya's laptop and Clarke going to her friends to tell them all about what just happened.

Maybe Clarke will forgive Lexa way earlier than she thought she would. This clearly shows her that Lexa does care about her.


End file.
